Hey, That's My Tomb, It's Not A Grain Bin!

  'Annnnd...you know what Else I believe?  Oh, Hi There boys and girls, welcome to the Mr. Carson show..and won't you be my neighbor?  Gee, I didn't know my 'mic' was on already.  There's No absolute scientific evidence that the earth is actually 'Round', you know, like a ball.  So what does That tell you...well, figure it out, if it's not Round like a big beachball, then it stands to reason that it Must Be Flat...sorta like a Frisbee, or a spaghetti plate.  Look, I'm a learned scientist, a Brain scientist as a matter of fact, and boy do I know a lot with my exceptionally magnificent Brain.  That makes Me a pretty smart guy.  I work on brains that have boo-boo's, and make them all better.  My brain is very smart, smarter than anyone who reads my smart words about myself written by me about me, so that everyone can see how 'smart' I really am.  Someone said to me; 'You don't have much common sense for someone who claims to be so 'smart''.  Well, I'm not too sure What he Meant by that, or what in the world he was Getting at there, but that's just the way it is with people like That who just don't have Any common sense.  They say stupid, and silly things without even 'thinking' about what they're saying.  I always say, even though I, myself don't have a horse, 'You can lead a horse to water'.  Yep, That's one of my fav  phrases.   When you're lucky enough to have me as your President, I think that maybe once or twice a week I will hold an Oval Office Science class.  There's Soooo much bogus 'science' going on out there which is just confusing to good Christians everywhere.  For instance, lets talk about those Egyptian Pyramids for a second while it's still hot in my beautiful brain.  Well, First off, I really don't know Why they are called 'Pyramid'.  Sounds like something to do with a woman's 'monthly' thingie.  And need I remind you that had Eve Not eaten that sinful apple, women would not Now be paying for that little indiscretion.  Lesson learned.  But, about those Pyramids...'some' ignorant and totally unlearned people who call themselves 'scientists' will falsely tell you that the 'Egyptians', whoever they were, built those big rock things to be used as 'Tombs'.  Yeaaa Right!  And If you believe That rubbish then make an Appointment with my Office and I'll examine your putty like 'brain'.  I can help you...really.  It is my firm believe as a learned, and world renowned brain Surgeon, and candidate for the Oval Office, that those big mounds of rocks were built, and Not very long ago actually, solely for the purpose of storing grain.  I mean, look how Big they are...of course I myself have never seen one of them in person, but they are Big, and just the right size to store grain in.  They would just back their trucks up to a Shute, and pour that grain right into it.  Look, you can't argue with the Bible boys and girls..just sayin.  Anyway, I have definitive proof of this, and at the proper time and place I will reveal all I know.  I will also tell you about some of my other brain fired beliefs which will totally destroy those insidious myths that have long plagued our society.  I will give you just a few 'hints' of the 'topics' that I will later cover; 'Fossils' (they aren't Really), Age of the Earth (not Very), Does earth Revolve around the Sun (well, we Know the answer there, Not), Abortion for Any reason (sin,sin,sin), Homosexuals (even More sin), gay 'marriage (see Homo), Women's 'Rights'(see 'fossils').  I know you can't wait till I'm your wonderful President, and you won't be sorry, Really...I promise.  Look Out America, here I Come!  I said in my soft, quiet voice.  well, that's the show for today boys and girls.  Tune in next time when Mr. Carson will tell you where Honey Really comes from.  Until then, won't you be my neighbor and my BFF.  ;) ;)

 

Ben Carson's Strange Theory About The Egyptian Pyramids

Say what?

Igor BobicAssociate Politics Editor, The Huffington Post

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Posted: 11/04/2015 06:08 PM EST | Edited: 4 hours ago

Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson once vocalized an odd theory about Egyptian history.

According to a video unearthed by BuzzFeed on Wednesday, Carson posited in a 1998 commencement address at Andrews University that the pyramids in Egypt were used for grain storage rather than as tombs for ancient kings and queens.

"My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain," Carson said, referring to the Old Testament. "Now all the archeologists think that they were made for the pharaohs’ graves. But, you know, [something to store that grain] would have to be something awfully big, if you stop and think about it."

Carson appeared to be referencing the biblical figure of Joseph, who was sold into slavery in Egypt and later went on to advise the Egyptian pharaoh to store grain due to a coming famine.

The famed neurosurgeon, who is currently the front-runner for the GOP nomination, added in the speech that he didn't think aliens built the pyramids, as some conspiracy theorists have stated.

"And when you look at the way that the pyramids are made, with many chambers that are hermetically sealed, they’d have to be that way for various reasons," he said. "And various of scientists have said, 'well, you know there were alien beings that came down and they have special knowledge and that’s how.' You know, it doesn’t require an alien being when God is with you."

Betsy M. Bryan, professor of Egyptian Art and Archeology at Johns Hopkins University, explained the pyramids were not conducive structures for storing grain.

"The actual space available within pyramids of any era was highly limited -- far more was devoted to descending and ascending shafts. These would be highly unsuitable for grain storage in large amount," Bryan said in an email, adding that Egyptian granaries "were not pyramidal but mostly beehive-shaped. They were built over brick lined circular bases, and they were filled from the top with ladders set up against them."

J.G. Manning, a professor of classics who studies Egyptian history at Yale University, called Carson's version of events "lunatic."

"It's a biblical view of the pyramids," he told The Huffington Post. "It just has no basis in fact."

Asked Wednesday by CBS News whether he still believed the pyramids were primarily used for grain storage, Carson said, "It's still my belief, yes."