'I received a "beautiful letter" from my special BFF-FWB, Kimmy, 'The Missile Guy', and let me be as transparent as I have always been when it comes to my 'between the sheets' relationships with other despots like myself.
As the world clearly can see, Kimmy holds a special place where my 'heart' used to be. What a guy! Talk about a loving 'family man'! I mean, here's a guy who doesn't have to, but does anyway, loves his whole family 'to death'. And the 'love' he has for his whole gulag...errrr,... I mean 'country! I wish I had just half the power this benevolent leader has over his country. And the people there! There's nothing they wouldn't do to show their love and respect for him. Millions and millions of his serfs actually 'volunteer' to work in the fields, factories, and 'training' camps for free. They refuse to accept payment for their labors! Can you believe that? Can you? Just so my pal Kimmy can put food on 'the' table.
That's why North Korea is such a wonderful place to live. No crime, no poverty, no street beggars, no MS-13 gangs, no homeless people sleeping on the sidewalks, no protesters, no 'democrats' to clog the system like here in my kingdom that I'm making "greater" everyday. Kimmy tells me that he reserves a special up-scale 'resort', and training classes for his serfs who fall into all those categories. That's just a sample of how much he loves his subjects. Ya just gotta give the guy a big thumbs up! Always thinking about how to make his subjects happy. Love ya Kimmy!
Kimmy has such beautiful plans for his own kingdom. He wants it to be the tourist capital of the orient, complete with public parks, a 'fantasyland' venue for the millions of tourists who will flood his kingdom while enjoying freedom of travel and expression, wonderful tourist hotels formerly used as high rise political prisons, and best of all, many 'Trump brand' golf resorts.
But look, let me just tell you about Kimmy's "beautiful letter", and what a "beautiful letter" it is! So neatly typewritten, hardly any typo's! He missed his calling, shoulda been a 'writer'.
But anyway, "In a letter to me sent by Kim Jong Un, he stated, very nicely, that he would like to meet and start negotiations as soon as the joint U.S./South Korea joint exercise are over. It was a long letter, much of it complaining about the ridiculous and expensive exercises. It was..... ...also a small apology for testing the short range missiles, and that this testing would stop when the exercises end. I look forward to seeing Kim Jong Un in the not too distant future! A nuclear free North Korea will lead to one of the most successful countries in the world!" And that's straight from his chubby little heart! Is it just a coincidence that he and I 'think' alike or what? I mean, is that crazy, or is it just me? I bet we're related somehow. Maybe. We'll see. But I love him like crazy. Can't wait to hold his sweaty little hand in my huge 'presidential' ones! His hands are like a fat little child's hands. Probably eats too much rice. We'll see. I have to be careful to not hurt his fingers. I just love his sateen sheets! Class act! What a great leader, humanitarian, benevolent family guy he is! One of the worlds 'greatest' leaders. Of course it comes as no surprise that that describes myself as well. But that's just me.
There's other more private things in Kimmy's "beautiful letter", things that are no one's business but my own so don't bother to ask for a copy. 'States secrets' are my business and my subjects don't need to know anything but what I tell them. That's the sign of a great 'leader' such as myself. But look, this isn't about 'me' is it? Of course not. But I can't tell you about this "beautiful letter" without telling you a little about me, myself and I, now can I? But that's just me, me, me.'
As the world clearly can see, Kimmy holds a special place where my 'heart' used to be. What a guy! Talk about a loving 'family man'! I mean, here's a guy who doesn't have to, but does anyway, loves his whole family 'to death'. And the 'love' he has for his whole gulag...errrr,... I mean 'country! I wish I had just half the power this benevolent leader has over his country. And the people there! There's nothing they wouldn't do to show their love and respect for him. Millions and millions of his serfs actually 'volunteer' to work in the fields, factories, and 'training' camps for free. They refuse to accept payment for their labors! Can you believe that? Can you? Just so my pal Kimmy can put food on 'the' table.
That's why North Korea is such a wonderful place to live. No crime, no poverty, no street beggars, no MS-13 gangs, no homeless people sleeping on the sidewalks, no protesters, no 'democrats' to clog the system like here in my kingdom that I'm making "greater" everyday. Kimmy tells me that he reserves a special up-scale 'resort', and training classes for his serfs who fall into all those categories. That's just a sample of how much he loves his subjects. Ya just gotta give the guy a big thumbs up! Always thinking about how to make his subjects happy. Love ya Kimmy!
Kimmy has such beautiful plans for his own kingdom. He wants it to be the tourist capital of the orient, complete with public parks, a 'fantasyland' venue for the millions of tourists who will flood his kingdom while enjoying freedom of travel and expression, wonderful tourist hotels formerly used as high rise political prisons, and best of all, many 'Trump brand' golf resorts.
But look, let me just tell you about Kimmy's "beautiful letter", and what a "beautiful letter" it is! So neatly typewritten, hardly any typo's! He missed his calling, shoulda been a 'writer'.
But anyway, "In a letter to me sent by Kim Jong Un, he stated, very nicely, that he would like to meet and start negotiations as soon as the joint U.S./South Korea joint exercise are over. It was a long letter, much of it complaining about the ridiculous and expensive exercises. It was..... ...also a small apology for testing the short range missiles, and that this testing would stop when the exercises end. I look forward to seeing Kim Jong Un in the not too distant future! A nuclear free North Korea will lead to one of the most successful countries in the world!" And that's straight from his chubby little heart! Is it just a coincidence that he and I 'think' alike or what? I mean, is that crazy, or is it just me? I bet we're related somehow. Maybe. We'll see. But I love him like crazy. Can't wait to hold his sweaty little hand in my huge 'presidential' ones! His hands are like a fat little child's hands. Probably eats too much rice. We'll see. I have to be careful to not hurt his fingers. I just love his sateen sheets! Class act! What a great leader, humanitarian, benevolent family guy he is! One of the worlds 'greatest' leaders. Of course it comes as no surprise that that describes myself as well. But that's just me.
There's other more private things in Kimmy's "beautiful letter", things that are no one's business but my own so don't bother to ask for a copy. 'States secrets' are my business and my subjects don't need to know anything but what I tell them. That's the sign of a great 'leader' such as myself. But look, this isn't about 'me' is it? Of course not. But I can't tell you about this "beautiful letter" without telling you a little about me, myself and I, now can I? But that's just me, me, me.'
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