'I Demand An Investigation"
'Man, I just can't get this thing out of my crazy head! I just can't let it Go! Can't do it! Stuck!!!! Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, spray, spray, spray,.....nope, Still there! One Million, Two Million, Three Million more, Four Million, Five Million, six potato more! Everywhere I direct my conspiracy laden eyes I 'see' another million "illegals", and I think you 'know' which Brown "illegals" I'm talking about here, lining up at polling booths casting their illegal hispanic votes for that lying Hillary costing me the 'popular' vote! Disgusting woman! Women! But hey, I 'love' women. I'm actually married to one! Afterall, I hired that flaming Kellyann, and I'm pretty 'sure' that She's a 'woman'. But I just don't ask. Not Going there. Not.
So, here's what I was thinking late last night, you know, right about my 'tweeter' whacking time. It's a well 'known' 'Alternative Fact' that five million "illegals" were hired by that Hillary to vote against me. Thank goodness though for that silly antiqueted Electorial College system that got me here! Whew! Close one! But it's a 'fact', which I have clear 'evidence' about, and my good friend 'Vlad The Nation Builder' will back me on, and which I will reveal at some future 'press bashing', that I actually 'won' the popular vote. That's why I'm sitting here chopping the whole world, and America too, into unrecognizable shards that even 'all the kings men' will never be able to put back together again, instead of that lying Hillary. Disgusting woman! If I accidently ate her, it would leave a bad taste in my mouth! Must remember, never go to lunch with her.
So, what I propose is that we have a 'Major Investigation', which all Americans will contribute their tax funds towards, except for Me because I don't pay taxes like common people because as you can See I am Very Un-common, to get to the bottom of this illegal act that cost me the popular vote. "I will be asking for a major investigation into VOTER FRAUD, including those registered to vote in two states, those who are illegal and....even, those registered to vote who are dead (and many for a long time). Depending on results, we will strengthen up voting procedures!" I have personal 'knowledge' that many, many, thousands even, probably Millions, very long ago Dead people lined up at many voting polls to cast their dead votes for that woman. I am totally against Dead people being able to come from the grave and vote!! Disgusting! And, I intend to discover the full identity of each and every one of those Ten Million illegal "illegals" who sneaked across our border, assumed false identities pretending to be Americans, and voted for 'Her'. I will Also find out who each of those dead voters were, and they will be punished to the full extent of the 'Graves Law', which I'm writing right now. I will also determine Mexico's involvement in this nefarious scheme, rapists, murderers, and believe you Me, just like my 'wall', they will pay dearly for this unconstitutional act. Speaking of my 'wall', I spoke with Mexico's President last night, and he 'assures' me that 'Yes', he will pay for my 'wall' out of his own personal checking account. He told me that he has Already dropped the check in the mail the second Tuesday of next week. Did you know they still use donkeys there?? Great guy! Friend of all Americans. Hot wife! Brings out the 'grope' in me!
Now, I'm starting to hear snide rumors floating around that I 'might' be showing subtle 'signs' of some sort of 'mental disorder(s)' because of my beliefs in conspiracy theories, constant blurting of, and believing In obvious lies, believing in "Alternate Facts", and well, I could just go on, and on, and on but I think you can see where my detractors will 'try' to go with this, especially in concert with the disgusting media, and those lying reporters who are always putting 'words' in my mouth. Always trying to make me 'look' bad, when I'm more than capable of Doing it Myself! Liers! Can't trust them! Must control, and Ban them totally! More 'rules', more rules! Did I mention that there were many, many,'more' people, at least one and a half Million by my personal count, at my inaugeral than Obama had at his paultry attended event? Poor guy. Looser. I win.
But you know, Americans, Everyone of them, whether they voted for me or stupidly not, will simply, blindly and without question, accept me just the way I Am, especially all those folks who I suckered into voting for me, they'll Never admit their Now obvious mistake anyway, because hey, I believe what I believe. Does That make me such a 'bad guy'? And I'll answer that for you, No, it does not. It just shows that I'm just as 'human', though not as Common, because as you can see for yourself I'm very Un-common, as the next guy. That's why I am better suited than Anyone else in America to be President of America, Commander-In-Chief, and leader of the Free World, well, we Used to be that leader, but I'm pulling America Out of That tired and useless position because we don't need to be involved in the rest of the worlds problems and issues. Must save broken down America from itself. Busy, busy, bee. It's much better to let Russia or China take over that tiring job, and let our former friends and allies fend, or flounder for themselves as they are taken over by those caring gentle giants. We don't need the rest of the world. We should withdraw into our own little shell!
The way to make 'friend's' is to treat people like they are make of so much crap, then ignore them, then they will come begging to be your friend again, and Now you 'own' them. Hey, I'm a Businessman, and Now America is my new 'business'. Let the 'investigation' begin folks, let's teach those Fifteen Million "illegals", and the Whole World, a lesson they won't soon forget!!'
:/ :/ :/
Buddy's Satirical Ramblings
Trump Promises ‘Major Investigation’ of Voter Fraud in 2016 Election
'Man, I just can't get this thing out of my crazy head! I just can't let it Go! Can't do it! Stuck!!!! Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, spray, spray, spray,.....nope, Still there! One Million, Two Million, Three Million more, Four Million, Five Million, six potato more! Everywhere I direct my conspiracy laden eyes I 'see' another million "illegals", and I think you 'know' which Brown "illegals" I'm talking about here, lining up at polling booths casting their illegal hispanic votes for that lying Hillary costing me the 'popular' vote! Disgusting woman! Women! But hey, I 'love' women. I'm actually married to one! Afterall, I hired that flaming Kellyann, and I'm pretty 'sure' that She's a 'woman'. But I just don't ask. Not Going there. Not.
So, here's what I was thinking late last night, you know, right about my 'tweeter' whacking time. It's a well 'known' 'Alternative Fact' that five million "illegals" were hired by that Hillary to vote against me. Thank goodness though for that silly antiqueted Electorial College system that got me here! Whew! Close one! But it's a 'fact', which I have clear 'evidence' about, and my good friend 'Vlad The Nation Builder' will back me on, and which I will reveal at some future 'press bashing', that I actually 'won' the popular vote. That's why I'm sitting here chopping the whole world, and America too, into unrecognizable shards that even 'all the kings men' will never be able to put back together again, instead of that lying Hillary. Disgusting woman! If I accidently ate her, it would leave a bad taste in my mouth! Must remember, never go to lunch with her.
So, what I propose is that we have a 'Major Investigation', which all Americans will contribute their tax funds towards, except for Me because I don't pay taxes like common people because as you can See I am Very Un-common, to get to the bottom of this illegal act that cost me the popular vote. "I will be asking for a major investigation into VOTER FRAUD, including those registered to vote in two states, those who are illegal and....even, those registered to vote who are dead (and many for a long time). Depending on results, we will strengthen up voting procedures!" I have personal 'knowledge' that many, many, thousands even, probably Millions, very long ago Dead people lined up at many voting polls to cast their dead votes for that woman. I am totally against Dead people being able to come from the grave and vote!! Disgusting! And, I intend to discover the full identity of each and every one of those Ten Million illegal "illegals" who sneaked across our border, assumed false identities pretending to be Americans, and voted for 'Her'. I will Also find out who each of those dead voters were, and they will be punished to the full extent of the 'Graves Law', which I'm writing right now. I will also determine Mexico's involvement in this nefarious scheme, rapists, murderers, and believe you Me, just like my 'wall', they will pay dearly for this unconstitutional act. Speaking of my 'wall', I spoke with Mexico's President last night, and he 'assures' me that 'Yes', he will pay for my 'wall' out of his own personal checking account. He told me that he has Already dropped the check in the mail the second Tuesday of next week. Did you know they still use donkeys there?? Great guy! Friend of all Americans. Hot wife! Brings out the 'grope' in me!
Now, I'm starting to hear snide rumors floating around that I 'might' be showing subtle 'signs' of some sort of 'mental disorder(s)' because of my beliefs in conspiracy theories, constant blurting of, and believing In obvious lies, believing in "Alternate Facts", and well, I could just go on, and on, and on but I think you can see where my detractors will 'try' to go with this, especially in concert with the disgusting media, and those lying reporters who are always putting 'words' in my mouth. Always trying to make me 'look' bad, when I'm more than capable of Doing it Myself! Liers! Can't trust them! Must control, and Ban them totally! More 'rules', more rules! Did I mention that there were many, many,'more' people, at least one and a half Million by my personal count, at my inaugeral than Obama had at his paultry attended event? Poor guy. Looser. I win.
But you know, Americans, Everyone of them, whether they voted for me or stupidly not, will simply, blindly and without question, accept me just the way I Am, especially all those folks who I suckered into voting for me, they'll Never admit their Now obvious mistake anyway, because hey, I believe what I believe. Does That make me such a 'bad guy'? And I'll answer that for you, No, it does not. It just shows that I'm just as 'human', though not as Common, because as you can see for yourself I'm very Un-common, as the next guy. That's why I am better suited than Anyone else in America to be President of America, Commander-In-Chief, and leader of the Free World, well, we Used to be that leader, but I'm pulling America Out of That tired and useless position because we don't need to be involved in the rest of the worlds problems and issues. Must save broken down America from itself. Busy, busy, bee. It's much better to let Russia or China take over that tiring job, and let our former friends and allies fend, or flounder for themselves as they are taken over by those caring gentle giants. We don't need the rest of the world. We should withdraw into our own little shell!
The way to make 'friend's' is to treat people like they are make of so much crap, then ignore them, then they will come begging to be your friend again, and Now you 'own' them. Hey, I'm a Businessman, and Now America is my new 'business'. Let the 'investigation' begin folks, let's teach those Fifteen Million "illegals", and the Whole World, a lesson they won't soon forget!!'
:/ :/ :/Buddy's Satirical Ramblings
Trump Promises ‘Major Investigation’ of Voter Fraud in 2016 Election
President Trump, standing by his false assertion that millions voted illegally, said Wednesday that he will demand a “major investigation” into voter fraud.
nytimes.com|By Eric Lipton, Noah Weiland and Steve Eder
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