'How dare the lying media spread such blatant "Fake News" about my honorable Intel Chiefs, whom I 'trust', as I've said many, many, many, times before, without 'question', and whom I 'always' listen to no matter how much they also lie! It's plain to me after watching them testify that the disgusting media had forced them to say things that they 'knew' was not truthful, and then to add fuel on a smouldering fire, they "misquoted" everything they said.
If only there were a 'loop hole' in our Constitution that would allow me to 'control' the media, which by the way, is just tearing our wonderful country apart at the seams. How can I possibly "make America great again", when our worst "enemy", the lying media, keeps making it bad again. If only there were a way....if only there were some nafarious way....
This morning I invited all my wonderful, misunderstood, Intel Chiefs to have tea and 'hamberders' in the Oval Office, and they all assured me, or be 'Fired', that they had all been "misquoted" by the lying media, and that everything the lying media reported was totally "fake news", and that they all agree with my personal assessment of America's security status, which as we all 'know', and because of my incredible 'leadership', is safe and sound, with no external threats at all. At last we are all on the same 'page', and they promised to never be misquoted again.
America is the safest under my 'rule' than it has ever been. No other President has been able to do the things I have done to, er.., 'for' America. All terrorists have been defeated, everyone loves America, and all is well with the world, as I 'know' it, and as according to my BFF, Vlad, 'The Worlds Protector', and the best 'advisor' I've ever had. Honest. really. No lie.'
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If only there were a 'loop hole' in our Constitution that would allow me to 'control' the media, which by the way, is just tearing our wonderful country apart at the seams. How can I possibly "make America great again", when our worst "enemy", the lying media, keeps making it bad again. If only there were a way....if only there were some nafarious way....
This morning I invited all my wonderful, misunderstood, Intel Chiefs to have tea and 'hamberders' in the Oval Office, and they all assured me, or be 'Fired', that they had all been "misquoted" by the lying media, and that everything the lying media reported was totally "fake news", and that they all agree with my personal assessment of America's security status, which as we all 'know', and because of my incredible 'leadership', is safe and sound, with no external threats at all. At last we are all on the same 'page', and they promised to never be misquoted again.
America is the safest under my 'rule' than it has ever been. No other President has been able to do the things I have done to, er.., 'for' America. All terrorists have been defeated, everyone loves America, and all is well with the world, as I 'know' it, and as according to my BFF, Vlad, 'The Worlds Protector', and the best 'advisor' I've ever had. Honest. really. No lie.'
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