'Pardon me? What was that?
Oh, well, as I was saying, a pardon is a pardon is a pardon. What part of that do my 'subjects', my serfs, not understand? Am I not speaking the Kings English here, or is the room full of potential deportees? I'm sure that my base, and all of my Republican friends, especially my Evangelical bible thumpers know exactly where I'm going with this. Look, I've done nothing wrong here. Honest. Ya gotta believe me here! Really! Sure, a lot, well most, ok, just about everything else I say turns out sooner or later, mostly instantly, to be a big stinking lie. But I'm not telling a lie right now, and that's the truth, I swear on a stack of, ah, bibles. Look, they got no evidence. That's it in a nutshell. No videos of me doing a crime! No audio tapes of me talking about a crime. No 'real' witnesses, that I'm currently aware of, that saw me doing a crime. Hey, I'm no dummy folks, really, do you think for one minute that I'm stupid enough to let myself be recorded committing a crime? So no, they got nothing on me. Nothing! Zilch! And I ain't going nowhere! Disgusting trolls! But look, just in case the Feds, such liars, do happen to come up with 'something', which my base knows will be lies, and made up 'evidence', I reserve the Constitutional 'right' to protect myself from this "witch hunt". And the way I'll do it is to forgive myself, you know, "pardon me". Yeah, I can do that. Even though I'm as innocent as baby jesus, I can do that. I can actually save myself from myself. How cool is that!? Who else can do that? Yeah, no one but me! I have more power than god, more power than the Supreme Court, more power than the Constitution! Me! Me! Me! I'm whatcha might call 'invincible', untouchable, undefeatable, inviolable, holy, inexpugnable, and most of all, above the laws that pertain to the rest of the world. No one on this planet, except my BFF 'almost lover' Vlad, and that little fat "missile man "Kimmy", have the power that I do, and are as untouchable as me. So yeah, "I have the absolute right to pardon myself" from anything anyone tries to burn me with. I'm flameproof! But then as we all 'know' I've done no wrong, never have, never will, wouldn't even think of it. "Trust me". So my advice to everyone gnawing their knuckles over this, chill out. They can't touch me. 'Pardon" is my middle name.'
See More
Oh, well, as I was saying, a pardon is a pardon is a pardon. What part of that do my 'subjects', my serfs, not understand? Am I not speaking the Kings English here, or is the room full of potential deportees? I'm sure that my base, and all of my Republican friends, especially my Evangelical bible thumpers know exactly where I'm going with this. Look, I've done nothing wrong here. Honest. Ya gotta believe me here! Really! Sure, a lot, well most, ok, just about everything else I say turns out sooner or later, mostly instantly, to be a big stinking lie. But I'm not telling a lie right now, and that's the truth, I swear on a stack of, ah, bibles. Look, they got no evidence. That's it in a nutshell. No videos of me doing a crime! No audio tapes of me talking about a crime. No 'real' witnesses, that I'm currently aware of, that saw me doing a crime. Hey, I'm no dummy folks, really, do you think for one minute that I'm stupid enough to let myself be recorded committing a crime? So no, they got nothing on me. Nothing! Zilch! And I ain't going nowhere! Disgusting trolls! But look, just in case the Feds, such liars, do happen to come up with 'something', which my base knows will be lies, and made up 'evidence', I reserve the Constitutional 'right' to protect myself from this "witch hunt". And the way I'll do it is to forgive myself, you know, "pardon me". Yeah, I can do that. Even though I'm as innocent as baby jesus, I can do that. I can actually save myself from myself. How cool is that!? Who else can do that? Yeah, no one but me! I have more power than god, more power than the Supreme Court, more power than the Constitution! Me! Me! Me! I'm whatcha might call 'invincible', untouchable, undefeatable, inviolable, holy, inexpugnable, and most of all, above the laws that pertain to the rest of the world. No one on this planet, except my BFF 'almost lover' Vlad, and that little fat "missile man "Kimmy", have the power that I do, and are as untouchable as me. So yeah, "I have the absolute right to pardon myself" from anything anyone tries to burn me with. I'm flameproof! But then as we all 'know' I've done no wrong, never have, never will, wouldn't even think of it. "Trust me". So my advice to everyone gnawing their knuckles over this, chill out. They can't touch me. 'Pardon" is my middle name.'
See More
No comments:
Post a Comment