'Oh man! I am on a roll with this 'Pardon me Sir', gig! I mean, just look at the power I have around here! And the attention it takes away from my "witch hunt" problems! Rule by extreme diversion, division, and self inflicted crisis, I always say. I may not get anything done for America or the world but create havic, but boy look at me, I said Look at me, and watch me pardon the hell outta well deserving people, even people who don't even need it after all! Thousands on my little diversionary list! Huge numbers! Unbelievable! But hey, this isn't about Me, me, me. Is it?
So, yeah, while I'm at it, I was 'thinking', you know, by using my extraordinarily expansive brain power, which by the way has been medically proven by my personal physician to be superior to even that of an average 3rd grader, not to mention my unbelievable 'memory' powers, about that Poor 'Tennis' player, you know, that Black guy that refused to serve in the 2nd World War, yeah, that's the one, Muhammad Ali. Great 'Evangelical Christian' guy, wonderful family man. Personal friend of mine. Just had a phone chat with him last week. He was treated badly. Disgusting Federal Government! I, myself, personally forgive him, and you know what, I think he needs a special 'Pardon'. He's at the top of my list of criminals to pardon. Right at the top. I'll call him with the news later.
And boy do I have a bunch of other criminals on my list that should be free, walking the streets looking for more victims to victimize. I don't really care who they are or what they've done, no crime to big or small. I have directed that all famous celebrities, especially the hot female ones, "I could just grab them", well you 'know', and all those sports hero's that take a knee, you know, those that I have threatened to deport for not pledging their allegiance to my crown, to come see me personally on bended knee, and give me a great big list of all their family members that are whiling away their pitiful lives in our illegal prisons. And just like that, I'll 'spring'em' with a magical wave of my 'Pardon me sir' wand, and out they'll come, praising my holy name, and vowing to vote for me later on when I need those Black Christian votes most. Now that's Power! Only a king...err..I mean a President, can do that stuff.
Actually I'm just warming up here. I figure that by the time I'm finished with thousands of useless pardons of useless people, but yet future voters, no one will even notice, or even care by then, when I slip in all my special political 'friends' that are under investigation in this "illegal witch hunt" that Mueller is poking me with. I might even 'Pardon' him! But enough about Him, what do you think of Me, me, me? How am I doing? Great numbers! My base loves me'
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So, yeah, while I'm at it, I was 'thinking', you know, by using my extraordinarily expansive brain power, which by the way has been medically proven by my personal physician to be superior to even that of an average 3rd grader, not to mention my unbelievable 'memory' powers, about that Poor 'Tennis' player, you know, that Black guy that refused to serve in the 2nd World War, yeah, that's the one, Muhammad Ali. Great 'Evangelical Christian' guy, wonderful family man. Personal friend of mine. Just had a phone chat with him last week. He was treated badly. Disgusting Federal Government! I, myself, personally forgive him, and you know what, I think he needs a special 'Pardon'. He's at the top of my list of criminals to pardon. Right at the top. I'll call him with the news later.
And boy do I have a bunch of other criminals on my list that should be free, walking the streets looking for more victims to victimize. I don't really care who they are or what they've done, no crime to big or small. I have directed that all famous celebrities, especially the hot female ones, "I could just grab them", well you 'know', and all those sports hero's that take a knee, you know, those that I have threatened to deport for not pledging their allegiance to my crown, to come see me personally on bended knee, and give me a great big list of all their family members that are whiling away their pitiful lives in our illegal prisons. And just like that, I'll 'spring'em' with a magical wave of my 'Pardon me sir' wand, and out they'll come, praising my holy name, and vowing to vote for me later on when I need those Black Christian votes most. Now that's Power! Only a king...err..I mean a President, can do that stuff.
Actually I'm just warming up here. I figure that by the time I'm finished with thousands of useless pardons of useless people, but yet future voters, no one will even notice, or even care by then, when I slip in all my special political 'friends' that are under investigation in this "illegal witch hunt" that Mueller is poking me with. I might even 'Pardon' him! But enough about Him, what do you think of Me, me, me? How am I doing? Great numbers! My base loves me'
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