'My fellow American's, all I can tell you is, DON'T DO 'IT'!!! Don't do it! Just don't do it! Don't touch that thing when it's fully loaded! And hardly ever in public! Would you dare play with a ticking time bomb!?? A loaded gun?? A pissed off Texass rattlesnake? Good god in gold plated heaven, No! Don't even volunteer to help your neighbor in their own time of 'need'! Wrongful touching can cause that thing to explode all over the place! Ka-Pew! Is that what you want? This is a job for the professionals to 'handle'. Amateurs should never attempt to whack one of these things without proper adult supervision. If you try to beat it into submission without proper supervision you run the risk of blindness, date ending zits, hair loss, except in the palms of your hands, loss of social status, and of course, the total wrath of god almighty himself!
Remember what god probably said about this very thing in; 'Nuttcracker 3.16': 'Love thy neighbors genitals as thee love thy own, yet volunteer not in the stimulation of his, nor in the self pleasure of thy own, always seek the assistance of a professional genital stimulator, and time after wonderful time, yee shall be blessed beyond measure'. I can proudly say that I, myself, have never, ever, well hardly ever, stimulated my own, but if I did, it was by total accident.
So as you can plainly see, there's no god given right to even go near it, unless of course you are a fully 'ordained professional' such as myself. Oh, if I had a dime for every time I've assisted a brethern in 'need'! Praise the lord, and pass the plate!'
Remember what god probably said about this very thing in; 'Nuttcracker 3.16': 'Love thy neighbors genitals as thee love thy own, yet volunteer not in the stimulation of his, nor in the self pleasure of thy own, always seek the assistance of a professional genital stimulator, and time after wonderful time, yee shall be blessed beyond measure'. I can proudly say that I, myself, have never, ever, well hardly ever, stimulated my own, but if I did, it was by total accident.
So as you can plainly see, there's no god given right to even go near it, unless of course you are a fully 'ordained professional' such as myself. Oh, if I had a dime for every time I've assisted a brethern in 'need'! Praise the lord, and pass the plate!'
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