Buddy's Satirical Ramblings: "Mission Accomplished" No, Really.

'Well folks, that just about does it! Whew! What a job that was!Just look at the numbers! Huge! Incredible! Never seen anything like it! No President has Ever done what I've done! Unbelievable! Astounding! "Mission accomplished"! There's nothing else I can do, but as you all know, I'll think of something, especially if it gets me some good press from Fox news. Remember how disgusting America was before I took over control of all aspects of human life here? Remember? Big Ag, Big oil, Big Coal, all my good friends weren't even allowed to be in charge of their own pollution standards! What's with that!?? That horrible Environmental Protection Agency was standing in the way of American progress! Can you imagine that!? Disgusting! No one was even allowed to pour their toxin's into lakes and rivers, or fill the skies with pollutants like they were able to do back prior to the EPA. My Big manufacturing friends were prevented from expanding and couldn't even make a decent living for their Owners, and their CEO's! But then, 'every' American saw what was happening, and knew that I, and I alone, could save them from such horrible over reach of the EPA. I came in and changed the old Environmental Protection Agency to the new 'Environmental Pollution Agency'. And now look at what I 'accomplished'! Everyone is now free to pollute as much as they wish. This will help Big Business make more money so that the owners can become millionaires just like myself, and the more money they have, the more they can give Me so that I can afford my kingly lifestyle. Of course there's much more than just this one little thing that I've done to "make America great again". I could just go on, and on, and on, but hey, it's not about 'me', it's about how great America is now just because of me. Every American owes me a great big 'thank you' for looking out for my personal friends and family. My numbers are huge, really big! "Mission accomplished"! Really. I'm not kidding around here. Honest. No lie. Trust me. Or at least just vote for me....please.'