'My fellow Americans, I, in my Presidentially, infinite wisdom, have decided that you have been spoiled by breathing clean air way too long now. I mean, you've got me, your 'learned' President, why do you need clean air too?? Disgusting stuff!You can't have both, and so it's easier to get rid of clean air than it is to get rid of Me. And getting rid of clean air is exactly what I intend to do!
As we all know, my good 'friends', the Big Oil Industry, have been trying so hard to stay in business all these years ever since this disgusting EPA came into being and getting up in every ones private affairs. Now, not only will you pay more at the pumps, but you will also have the great pleasure of paying with your health. A little 'methane' can actually be beneficial for your health. The sky is so big, just look up there! Huge! Unbelievable room up there! Do not believe anything that these "fake news", so-called 'scientists', tell you about how bad 'methane' is. Remember, the only person on this planet that you can always truely believe, is Me. I know more than any of these fakers out there. So, repeat after me, 'My President is the only person who will 'never' lie to me'. America's health and well being is more important to me than..well, ah, just about anything else I can think of at the moment.
But look folks, this isn't about Me, me, me, totally anyway. It's about what I can do to, er, For America that is. So now, I will wave my destructive, magical presidential wand which will release more methane and other pollutants into the sky than you can shake a wand at. But hey, the deconstruction of America as you have known it, that's what you elected me for. Remember?'
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As we all know, my good 'friends', the Big Oil Industry, have been trying so hard to stay in business all these years ever since this disgusting EPA came into being and getting up in every ones private affairs. Now, not only will you pay more at the pumps, but you will also have the great pleasure of paying with your health. A little 'methane' can actually be beneficial for your health. The sky is so big, just look up there! Huge! Unbelievable room up there! Do not believe anything that these "fake news", so-called 'scientists', tell you about how bad 'methane' is. Remember, the only person on this planet that you can always truely believe, is Me. I know more than any of these fakers out there. So, repeat after me, 'My President is the only person who will 'never' lie to me'. America's health and well being is more important to me than..well, ah, just about anything else I can think of at the moment.
But look folks, this isn't about Me, me, me, totally anyway. It's about what I can do to, er, For America that is. So now, I will wave my destructive, magical presidential wand which will release more methane and other pollutants into the sky than you can shake a wand at. But hey, the deconstruction of America as you have known it, that's what you elected me for. Remember?'
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