'Oh dear lord in merciful heaven, I come to thee today on slightly bended knees to thank thee for sending me these ignorant, human sheep, and allowing me to 'shear' them even without their knowledge. I wish I could meet thee in person Lord, to show my sincere gratitude but that would mean that thou hast pulled my 'number' so I'd rather avoid that one, of course I 'want' to go to Heaven Lord, but I'm not willing to die, if thou knowest what I mean. While I'm at it oh gracious lord, I'd like to also thank thee for providing me with my wonderful, spacious, luxurious, private jet planes which allows me to fly in utmost comfort from fleecing to fleecing. Also, thank thee for the many fabulous estates around the world that I just love to pieces, and my private yacht is to die for, but not right now, thank you. As thou are well aware of, it is simply not safe for an evangelist of my superior stature to even think about flying in one of those sin filled, unanointed commercial tube-like, "demon" airplanes. I mean, who does that!? I dare not ruin my tailer made suits rubbing against unholy seat material! Ain't gonna happen on My watch! As thee well knows Lord there's just no way for me to communicate with thee while in one of those sinful airplanes that common, bothersome, sinners use. I just don't have time to save everyone Lord.
Hey, did you see me last Sunday Lord? Man! What a crowd of unwitting sheep! What a flock! I suckered those sheep into passing the collection $$bucket$$ five times! Talk about a major 'fleecing'! Cha-ching! I encourage them to put cash money in the $$bucket$$ instead of checks which as you know can be problematic at times, but either way it's Tax Free and I'm smiling all the way to the bank. Well, actually, the checks go to the bank, the cash to my personal vault. Praise the Lord, Heaven ain't free Lord! Praise the Lord, and pass the $$bucket$$!
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Hey, did you see me last Sunday Lord? Man! What a crowd of unwitting sheep! What a flock! I suckered those sheep into passing the collection $$bucket$$ five times! Talk about a major 'fleecing'! Cha-ching! I encourage them to put cash money in the $$bucket$$ instead of checks which as you know can be problematic at times, but either way it's Tax Free and I'm smiling all the way to the bank. Well, actually, the checks go to the bank, the cash to my personal vault. Praise the Lord, Heaven ain't free Lord! Praise the Lord, and pass the $$bucket$$!
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