'FREEDOM'?? 'PRESS'???
'Freedom of the Press?? Freedom...Press...? Ohhhhh..I get it 'Nowwww'. Well, of 'Course' I practically 'Believe' in that sort of thing. Great idea! Wonderful. And you know what? I'm all for it. Wellllll...except for when it pertains to Me or my 'special' BFF's! You see, as long as one of these disgusting, lying, fake 'news' organizations keeps their filthy mouths out of my way, and prints only glowing, wonderful things about me, then, they have the 'freedom' to print as much 'press' they wish. Love'em! Great people. But, their 'right' to freedom of the press Ends the minute they publish disgusting fake news about me, whether its true or not. Liars! Hate'em! Bunch of democrats! Just like this phony book writer that has slandered the gibbies out of me! How can he do that!? This is My America, you can't do that here! “I think it was a disgrace that someone’s able to have something, do something like that,” who does Wolff think he is? 'Fire and Fury' my butt! He hasn't seen Fire and Fury yet! I'll sue his panties off!. “The libel laws are very weak in this country. If they were strong, it’d be very helpful. You wouldn’t have things like that happen, where you could say whatever comes to your head.” Where does he think he is!? Disgusting weak laws! I'm gonna make a law that no one will be able to say bad things about me anymore. Just like the laws in China, and North Korea, places like that where they actually respect their dictat...err, 'leader' that is. Hillary's behind it! She started fake news when she claimed Obama was an illegal immigrant! How can anyone trust that loser!? What was she 'thinking'? I always Knew she was a liar. I defended Obama all the time over That one. Anyway, I'll Ban Any fake news reporters from asking questions of me! I get to determine if they are liars. I'm my Own 'fact checker'. That's My job. My BFF Putin will let me know when a lie has been printed about me. Really! He Will! We're what you might call FWB's. Great family guy. I know a liar when I See one. Oh, and speaking of 'seeing one', No mirrors will be allowed in my White House! And, I Already banned that fake news outfit, CNN! Disgusting! This should be a lesson learned for the rest of them! If you're gonna print something about Me, print Good stuff, even if you have to make it up. You know, just like I do about stuff. Just pretend. Use my tried and true method of "Alternative Facts", works for Me! Did I mention that I'm moving the Press Corps Briefing Room away from my Oval Office area. Yeah, it's just Way to close. Gonna put'em in a building next to the White House. Out of Sight, out of Mind! Sure. they'll whine to high heaven about it, but I'm the new boss in town. I have the First, and last word around here. Anything that reminds me of how Obama did it, will be Totally trashed! Even 'Freedom of the Press' will be re-defined. I don't need to see those disgusting, begging reporters hanging around like hungry dogs looking for scraps all the time. Just follow my lead, and enjoy freedom of the press, you disgusting liars. They should be more like Me, I 'never' tell a lie that I don't mean. That's why I'm over qualified to be Commander In Chief.'
'Freedom of the Press?? Freedom...Press...? Ohhhhh..I get it 'Nowwww'. Well, of 'Course' I practically 'Believe' in that sort of thing. Great idea! Wonderful. And you know what? I'm all for it. Wellllll...except for when it pertains to Me or my 'special' BFF's! You see, as long as one of these disgusting, lying, fake 'news' organizations keeps their filthy mouths out of my way, and prints only glowing, wonderful things about me, then, they have the 'freedom' to print as much 'press' they wish. Love'em! Great people. But, their 'right' to freedom of the press Ends the minute they publish disgusting fake news about me, whether its true or not. Liars! Hate'em! Bunch of democrats! Just like this phony book writer that has slandered the gibbies out of me! How can he do that!? This is My America, you can't do that here! “I think it was a disgrace that someone’s able to have something, do something like that,” who does Wolff think he is? 'Fire and Fury' my butt! He hasn't seen Fire and Fury yet! I'll sue his panties off!. “The libel laws are very weak in this country. If they were strong, it’d be very helpful. You wouldn’t have things like that happen, where you could say whatever comes to your head.” Where does he think he is!? Disgusting weak laws! I'm gonna make a law that no one will be able to say bad things about me anymore. Just like the laws in China, and North Korea, places like that where they actually respect their dictat...err, 'leader' that is. Hillary's behind it! She started fake news when she claimed Obama was an illegal immigrant! How can anyone trust that loser!? What was she 'thinking'? I always Knew she was a liar. I defended Obama all the time over That one. Anyway, I'll Ban Any fake news reporters from asking questions of me! I get to determine if they are liars. I'm my Own 'fact checker'. That's My job. My BFF Putin will let me know when a lie has been printed about me. Really! He Will! We're what you might call FWB's. Great family guy. I know a liar when I See one. Oh, and speaking of 'seeing one', No mirrors will be allowed in my White House! And, I Already banned that fake news outfit, CNN! Disgusting! This should be a lesson learned for the rest of them! If you're gonna print something about Me, print Good stuff, even if you have to make it up. You know, just like I do about stuff. Just pretend. Use my tried and true method of "Alternative Facts", works for Me! Did I mention that I'm moving the Press Corps Briefing Room away from my Oval Office area. Yeah, it's just Way to close. Gonna put'em in a building next to the White House. Out of Sight, out of Mind! Sure. they'll whine to high heaven about it, but I'm the new boss in town. I have the First, and last word around here. Anything that reminds me of how Obama did it, will be Totally trashed! Even 'Freedom of the Press' will be re-defined. I don't need to see those disgusting, begging reporters hanging around like hungry dogs looking for scraps all the time. Just follow my lead, and enjoy freedom of the press, you disgusting liars. They should be more like Me, I 'never' tell a lie that I don't mean. That's why I'm over qualified to be Commander In Chief.'
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