BREAKING 'NEWS'! BREAKING 'NEWS'! 'NEWS' ALERT!
This breaking 'news' is brought to you by your trusted 'news' breaker, 'BBSN' (BuddyBlacksSatirical News) where, if you didn't hear it here, then it probably hasn't happened yet.
Now this; Our 'ever ready battery' reporter extraordinaire, BuddyBlack (BB) is on the scene in Trump's "sewer" as he calls it, aka, "The Swamp", aka 'Washington DC, where he has the latest hot scoop of news that's gonna hit the proverbial fan. We now turn you over to BB, so hold down the mobile device chatter and listen in.
Good morning 'news' fans, this is your favorite, indefatigable 'real' news breaker BuddyBlack reporting from our Presidents glittering palace, the White House, or as Trump lovingly calls it, "a dump". Now lets get right to the 'news'. Trump, 'The Incompetent' (TTI) apparently suffered another fitful, and sleepless night, but certainly not a 'tweeterless' one. Still void of qualified adult supervision, and dangerously left to his own devices, the President once again has managed to float to the surface of the "sewer", reaching his level if incompetency with a late night tweet-fest that rivals all others that have 'chirped' from his personal Tweet closet. TTI 'tweeted' that just in case the radical Christians are right about "Doomsday" actually occurring on September 23, he will proclaim that day to be a National day of really, really, intense, knee grinding prayer where all humans, and trained primates, are to take a knee, apparently both knees will work better, in prayer...and, well, just wait and see what happens. Just in case dutiful prayer happens to fail, you know, like it did with those hurricanes and earth quakes, TTI will hold a special conference where he will personally demonstrate the proper technic of kissing one's arse goodbye. He has also appointed Teli-Evangelist Jimmy Baker as his personal Spiritual Advisor, and as the official White House 'Medium'. TTI also tweeted that henceforth, in effort to save money for his mythical 'wall', hurricanes will be banned from striking the Continental US Mainland until further notice. He admitted that this might cause some minor conflict with Jesus if he gets 'wind' of this plan, but that Jesus will just have to get in the 'Whine Line' like everyone else. TTI tweeted that he is designating America's Oil, Gas, Fracking, and Coal industries as 'Federal Agencies', which he personally, will administer, and will turn over 14 historical National Monuments, as in Federal Parks, to them for 'safe keeping', and 'management' as they see fit. He 'said' that they have absolutely 'proven' themselves to be 'faithful' stewards of America's natural resources, and 'protectors' of the environment, and so, who better to be the official 'watchdogs' of America's 'treasures'.
And with that bit of 'wisdom', the 'tweet-fest' went silent, and the lights dimmed.
Be sure to stay close to your favorite 'News' station, 'BBSN', where your 'News' guy BuddyBlack will always be found diving into the festering, bubbling, political abyss, where you will almost always hear incredibly, unbelievable 'news' that happens even when you're not looking, and, when you least expect it. ;) ;)
This breaking 'news' is brought to you by your trusted 'news' breaker, 'BBSN' (BuddyBlacksSatirical News) where, if you didn't hear it here, then it probably hasn't happened yet.
Now this; Our 'ever ready battery' reporter extraordinaire, BuddyBlack (BB) is on the scene in Trump's "sewer" as he calls it, aka, "The Swamp", aka 'Washington DC, where he has the latest hot scoop of news that's gonna hit the proverbial fan. We now turn you over to BB, so hold down the mobile device chatter and listen in.
Good morning 'news' fans, this is your favorite, indefatigable 'real' news breaker BuddyBlack reporting from our Presidents glittering palace, the White House, or as Trump lovingly calls it, "a dump". Now lets get right to the 'news'. Trump, 'The Incompetent' (TTI) apparently suffered another fitful, and sleepless night, but certainly not a 'tweeterless' one. Still void of qualified adult supervision, and dangerously left to his own devices, the President once again has managed to float to the surface of the "sewer", reaching his level if incompetency with a late night tweet-fest that rivals all others that have 'chirped' from his personal Tweet closet. TTI 'tweeted' that just in case the radical Christians are right about "Doomsday" actually occurring on September 23, he will proclaim that day to be a National day of really, really, intense, knee grinding prayer where all humans, and trained primates, are to take a knee, apparently both knees will work better, in prayer...and, well, just wait and see what happens. Just in case dutiful prayer happens to fail, you know, like it did with those hurricanes and earth quakes, TTI will hold a special conference where he will personally demonstrate the proper technic of kissing one's arse goodbye. He has also appointed Teli-Evangelist Jimmy Baker as his personal Spiritual Advisor, and as the official White House 'Medium'. TTI also tweeted that henceforth, in effort to save money for his mythical 'wall', hurricanes will be banned from striking the Continental US Mainland until further notice. He admitted that this might cause some minor conflict with Jesus if he gets 'wind' of this plan, but that Jesus will just have to get in the 'Whine Line' like everyone else. TTI tweeted that he is designating America's Oil, Gas, Fracking, and Coal industries as 'Federal Agencies', which he personally, will administer, and will turn over 14 historical National Monuments, as in Federal Parks, to them for 'safe keeping', and 'management' as they see fit. He 'said' that they have absolutely 'proven' themselves to be 'faithful' stewards of America's natural resources, and 'protectors' of the environment, and so, who better to be the official 'watchdogs' of America's 'treasures'.
And with that bit of 'wisdom', the 'tweet-fest' went silent, and the lights dimmed.
Be sure to stay close to your favorite 'News' station, 'BBSN', where your 'News' guy BuddyBlack will always be found diving into the festering, bubbling, political abyss, where you will almost always hear incredibly, unbelievable 'news' that happens even when you're not looking, and, when you least expect it. ;) ;)
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