Wednesday, November 29, 2017

'Person' Of The Year

'Yes, that's correct, at last those fake news outlets got it right for once. Disgusting trolls! It's true that I have graciously, humbly and not least of all, benevolenty, declined their personal offer, actually they were on their crusty, scabby hands and knees begging, no, imploring me, to accept the 'Person Of The Year' award, actually for 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020 combined. They told me that there were absolutely no other suitable candidates worldwide who could better fill that position for the foreseeable future. Of course I agreed wholeheartedly with their assessment of the situation, and of course I was not in the least bit surprised at their choice in me to be that 'person'. As we all know, I'm always that 'person'. I allowed that I would be happy to produce a suitable TV Reality show based on my declining the honor. Wonderful material. I will be my own 'guest'. Great ratings!
When I look back at all the things I've done to America, er, that is, done For America and its ungracious poverty ridden pions, I can't help but grovel in my sheer happiness knowing that I, and I alone will be responsible for all things that happen to America, and that it will take countless decades to repair the damage done during my scorched earth deconstruction campaign. My job, and my only job from the very beginning is to eradicate, wipe out, un-do, obliterate, destroy everything Obama, and him along with it! Disgusting foreigner! Fake birth certificate! I refuse to be happy until all Americans are un-happy. Only then will they crawl to my door begging for my forgiveness. But hey, enough about the wonders of Me.
I have, in my wonderfully gratuitous way, suggested to the grovelers at Time, that my personal pick for this 'Person' award should go to someone who exemplifies all that it means to be an American, someone who is absolutely pios beyond question, honorable in all things, truthful beyond approach, always thinking of the other man, or woman as in my own case, and I think you 'know' what I mean, someone who looks out for America, and the World as a whole never thinking of himself alone, a person who gives credit where credit is due, knowing when to say, 'I'm sorry, I was wrong on that one', never belittling or disparaging of another soul, all these attributes that I, myself proudly, yet humbly, exemplify. Incredible. Unbelievable me. By the way, did you see how I 'jabbed' that insufferable female Democrate 'Pocohontas' the other day? Disgusting liar! By the way, who told those guys to dress up like that. Where'd they get those disgusting 'uniforms'? What language do they even speak? Did we actually have orientals in our army back then? I don't trust them. I'm gonna build a Wall!
And so I recommended my good friend in Christ, Jim Baker. Great family guy. Always truthful in all things. Of course there are other outstanding Christians who would be almost as deserving of this award, and including all my faithful Republican lemmings who will follow me without question or hesitation, over any cliff I choose. Incredible numbers! But hey, it's not about 'me', it's about who is the most benevolent, and deserving of them all, and it's not my fault that I just happent to be that 'Person'. But that's
just me, me, me.'

 
Trump has long been obsessed with being on the cover of magazines, especially Time.
washingtonpost.com

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