The 'Rainmaker'
'Ok, Mr. Reporter who's life is on the line here, write this down; 'I saw what I saw, and I know what I saw was what I saw, and if it wasn't there I wouldn't have seen it.' Now let me explain why it was there in the first place. As we all know, and will attest to under the greatest of pain during a trial by bazooka fire at my personal firing range, I, and only I, can make weather, and cool stuff in general, happen. This is so because I, and only I, am the ultimate God of the whole World, not just here in our beloved, enlightened, yet starving, North Korea, but the whole World. I'm whatcha might call a 'rainmaker'. Actually, I can make anything happen when it comes to weather. Rain in New York, I did it. Hurricane in the Philippines, that was me. Droughts in North Korea, that's me. I just do it as a hobby though, part time you know. Imagine what I could do if I only had more spare time on my chubby little nuclear radiated hands. I will tell you this though, I don't miss a meal! I must eat constantly because I burn up so much energy making things happen, that's probably why I glow in the dark.
See that puffy little cloud up there? Look closer and you'll see my autograph right there in the upper right corner. Yep, I did it alright. The moon? Carved it all by myself when I was but one year old, and took my slingshot and catapulted that thing right up there. My parents, rest their doubting souls, thought I was just playing in the dirt, but no, I was busy making things happen. And now look at me. The master of my own fate, well, actually maybe the fate of the whole world right now.
Did you get all that Mr. Reporter? Here, let me look at your notes. Whoaa!! Looks like you didn't dot your I's and cross your T's mister! Report to the firing range in the morning. Oh, bring all of your extended family members with you, and bring this general behind me to my right rear who appears to be napping. How can I make wonderful things happen when I'm surrounded by slackers?
Uh-oh! Big rain cloud coming! Quickly now, whoever comes up with an umbrella gets to live for the next four weeks. Oh, I am such a great 'God', and a really good, and benevolent 'leader'. Please, may I see a raise of sweaty hands of anyone who dares to not believe me? I'm a 'rainmaker'.'
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'Ok, Mr. Reporter who's life is on the line here, write this down; 'I saw what I saw, and I know what I saw was what I saw, and if it wasn't there I wouldn't have seen it.' Now let me explain why it was there in the first place. As we all know, and will attest to under the greatest of pain during a trial by bazooka fire at my personal firing range, I, and only I, can make weather, and cool stuff in general, happen. This is so because I, and only I, am the ultimate God of the whole World, not just here in our beloved, enlightened, yet starving, North Korea, but the whole World. I'm whatcha might call a 'rainmaker'. Actually, I can make anything happen when it comes to weather. Rain in New York, I did it. Hurricane in the Philippines, that was me. Droughts in North Korea, that's me. I just do it as a hobby though, part time you know. Imagine what I could do if I only had more spare time on my chubby little nuclear radiated hands. I will tell you this though, I don't miss a meal! I must eat constantly because I burn up so much energy making things happen, that's probably why I glow in the dark.
See that puffy little cloud up there? Look closer and you'll see my autograph right there in the upper right corner. Yep, I did it alright. The moon? Carved it all by myself when I was but one year old, and took my slingshot and catapulted that thing right up there. My parents, rest their doubting souls, thought I was just playing in the dirt, but no, I was busy making things happen. And now look at me. The master of my own fate, well, actually maybe the fate of the whole world right now.
Did you get all that Mr. Reporter? Here, let me look at your notes. Whoaa!! Looks like you didn't dot your I's and cross your T's mister! Report to the firing range in the morning. Oh, bring all of your extended family members with you, and bring this general behind me to my right rear who appears to be napping. How can I make wonderful things happen when I'm surrounded by slackers?
Uh-oh! Big rain cloud coming! Quickly now, whoever comes up with an umbrella gets to live for the next four weeks. Oh, I am such a great 'God', and a really good, and benevolent 'leader'. Please, may I see a raise of sweaty hands of anyone who dares to not believe me? I'm a 'rainmaker'.'
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