Jared, The Fixer of "Messes"

'Ohhh, myyyyy god!!! Would you just look at that! What a "mess"! And I'm not talking about a simply un-tidy kinda mess, I mean a 'real' mess! Luckily, my being the prodigal son, and next in line to the 'throne', of America's favorite 'ruler', I was born with the incredible knack for cleaning up "messes" left by messy people such as 'Messy Joe Biden'. I call him 'Messy Joe'. You 'know' what my 'Presidential' daddy calls him.
My esteemed, and incredibly "smart" daddy, loved and revered by all, wisely appointed me, at no extra charge to our subjects wallets, to be the official White House 'Mess Fixer-upper', and boy am I 'Jared on the spot'! Just look at this place! Messy Joe was surely raised in some sort of white ghetto where 'white trash' was the rule of the day. What a mess he left me! White Trash all over the place! The floors covered in Biden 'mess', were the bathrooms not working when he was here!? Who does that!?? Dirty sinks, filthy dishes, 'flies on the walls', disgusting non designer toilets overflowing with 'eeeek'!, and look, a spider in the cupboard!
'Messy Joe' should never be allowed to slither in these halls ever again. And you know what? My overqualified daddy, he who has the biggest brain of all, will make sure of that! He will! He will I tell you, he really will!  He 'promised' me that sooner or later, if I do a really, really good job cleaning up the White House messes, and not make any of my own, it will then be 'my' job to fix all of America's "messes" just as he is busily doing even as I 'speak'. Really, he is, and I will too, and that's a great big Jared promise! A 'promise' from a Trump is a promise never broken. Honest. I promise! Really.
Well, I must continue "cleaning up messes" around here. Busy, busy I am said I.
My daddy gave me an official White House apron with my name, and a 'silver spoon' drawn with his very own marker pen, right on the backside of it.
Boy, oh boy, I can't wait to be the very next 'owner' of my very own country, just like my daddy promised me. I'm practically on my way to my very own infamy, just like daddy.'   :O ;)



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foxnews.com

Jared Kushner slams Joe Biden, claims he's been cleaning up 'messes' ex-VP left behind

Jared Kushner—both President Trump’s senior adviser and son-in-law—on Tuesday defended his role in the White House following recent criticism from 2020 Democratic frontrunner Joe Biden, explaining that most of the work he does now involves cleaning up the messes left behind by the former vice ...

Puppet O'Neill

Well, my goodness, Mr. Robert J. O'Neill, the guy who 'probably' shot bin Laden, aren't you just full of your egotistical self! While we all will no doubt concur with your calling Baghdadi a "scumbag", it seems that instead of parroting your otherwise hero, Trump, 'The Serial Name Caller', you could have used your own imagination and came up with something as creative on your own. But you couldn't do that could you? Nope. Monkey see, monkey do, and now you have proven yourself to be the perfect "Trumper" that he has groomed you to be. This is what happens when one allows other un-supervised children to play with our brains.
Of course you 'could' have stopped right after 'scumbagging' Baghdadi, which again, he certainly deserves, but your over estimation of your self worth carried you on to even more fertile, and closer to home, character pummeling grounds. Still full of yourself upon being hyper-inflated, via your arse, with hot air from your hero, you couldn't resist, just as your craven hero couldn't, of attacking one of your fellow American's, House Intel Chairman Adam Schiff, with; "If you’re the House Intel Chairman and are not told about the raid to kill the world’s #1 terrorist ... you might be a leaker,". It appears that Trump, 'The Infamous', might be using you as his personal 'hand puppet', but I'm guessing that you don't even notice that you are actually being used. However, you, just as every foolish ego maniac has ever done by getting too close to the very person who will destroy your life, will sooner than later hear your own name being besmirched by the very man-baby who will poop in your own pullups.
The best thing you can do before Trump burns you at the stake, is to flee as far away from him as possible, get a life, and thank your lucky stars that you were able, while you were still of a relatively sound mind, to see reality, and recognize a 'dangerous' Buffon for what he really is.
May the political gods, whatever they are, be with you. ;)


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washingtonexaminer.com

‘Hey scumbag’: Navy SEAL who shot bin Laden mocks Baghdadi and Schiff

The former Navy SEAL credited with firing fatal shots at al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden expressed his relief at the death of terrorist leader Abu Bakr al Baghdadi, calling the extremist head of the Islamic State a "scumbag."

"Loose Lips Sink Ships"

'Alright now, for all of the "fake news" reporters out there, and you know who you are CNN, that would love to make a big deal out of this personal ego inflating 'press briefing', I'm ordering my security staff to collect all cameras, notebooks, recorders, and especially, your own 'memories', because what I'm about to disclose is very, very sensitive, maybe even classified material. I don't know, we'll see. Can't be too careful. Remember, "Loose lips sink ships".  We wouldn't want this information to fall into the 'wrong' 'enimies' hands, you know, someone like ''Leaking Nancy', now would we. This is why American's can't trust that woman! She's a 'leaker' of secrets. I mean, is that batshit crazy, or is it just 'me'!? You simply can't trust someone like that. I mean, who does that?? See?, that's why I'm President, and she isn't.
So, if you promise not to tell anyone, here's how I, myself, and I, without any help from my enept generals made this 'highly sensitive' operation happen......' :/


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nbcnews.com

Officials cringe as Trump spills sensitive details of al-Baghdadi raid

Some details the president has revealed are inaccurate, others are classified. Officials say they worry what to put in briefings for a man with no filter.

No Redemption

Sorry Mr. Trump, but you could "lynch" the biblical Devil himself on the White House lawn, and you would still be lacking in redemption for your 'sins'. You are not forgiven, and not absolved of your many sordid, and sundry inequities. Accolades are due our brave soldiers, it was they, not 'you' that accomplished this feat. This will not save your soul nor your Presidency. :/

 

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cnn.com

Baghdadi's death: More details emerge from US raid: Live updates

US President Donald Trump announced Sunday, that ISIS leader Abu Bakar al-Baghdadi was killed in a "very dangerous mission" by a US special forces operations mission.

Nancy The leaker

'Yeah, see, she can't be 'trusted' Can't trust her. She's what you might call, a 'secret teller'.
 I don't know why she doesn't like me. Hates me I hear. But I like her. Can't stand the way she stabs her fingers around in the air when she talks though. That's the sure sign of a liar. She should be more like me. But she can't be trusted with 'secrets', and I 'can'. Really.
But Russia, my good BFF-FWB Putin, on the other hand, now there's a different story. Very honorable guy. Beautiful family man. His people adore him. Always truthful to them, just like me with my own subjects. He has never lied to me on purpose. He actually told me that. I gotta believe him folks! He's a lot like myself, you know, lies only when he has to. But I trust him with America's very life. He trusts me. We trust one another. That's what friends do in love and war. And of course, I trust my BFF, the 'dictator' of Turkey. We get along really well, and we have pinkie promised to never lie to one another. Always be honest and truthful, just like adult boy scouts.
So yeah, I didn't feel the need to tell 'Fancy Nancy' State secrets that she'd just call a "Fake News" conference, where she'd blab about a military operation that's none of her business in the first place. I mean, who does that!? Look, I'm the President of America, I 'run' America, I make the 'rules', I can ignore any law of the land as long as I get the job done. So, what's the problem here? Besides, I know more about military stuff and killing America's enemies than all of my pitifully inept generals put together. I don't need no stinking generals. Bother, bother. I'm the only President that could kill ISIS. Lincoln couldn't even do it, that's why he finally gave up and retired from being President. Obama was in love with ISIS, and we 'know' where he was 'born', and that's why they were so mean to America, but they didn't know I was coming along to defeat both of them. All by myself, me, myself, and I.
I have singlehandedly destroyed ISIS to the very last man, all by myself. Just ask my generals. I don't trust them either.
But this isn't about me, is it? It's really about everyone else that envy me, and wish they were me. Am I 'great' or what? Well????' ;)


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foxnews.com

Trump says he kept details of ISIS operation from Pelosi to avoid leaks

President Trump stated Sunday morning that he did not tell House Speaker Nancy Pelosi about the U.S. military raid in Syria that resulted in the death of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi because he was worried about leaks that could have compromised the mission. Vice President Mike Pence said this w...

Wow! Seven Students!

'Wow! Would you look at that! What a crowd! Great Black College! Really smart students. Huge crowd! All those beautiful black faces out there! I see lots of personal friends here! Thousands, and thousands...maybe more...we'll see. Obama couldn't even get this many black folks to attend one of his speeches, and he's...well..you know..not really from here.
And look, at least seven students! Someone just told me that more of them would have turned out but they are very busy studying for an upcoming 'Ethics In Government' test. But what a turnout! And how about that wonderful reception committee out in front of the college. What a crowd! They really know how to show their love! How proud, and humble everyone must feel, just as I, myself do, to be in my godly presence.
Did I mention how persecuted your President is right now? Can you believe it!?? The democrats are trying to fire me! They'd never do this to a democrat! What a joke! This is like a "lynching"! I bet a lot of you can identify with how I feel. Remember those good ol' days? How can they do this to me?
Folks, ya gotta help me with this. Some of you probably know someone who can vote. Right? Believe me folks, the 'white' vote ain't gonna save me! It's people like you that must come out and vote for me. Look at all I've done for the Black race! Lots of stuff. Really big stuff. Now, it's time to thank me for all I've done for you people. Remember, only you can prevent a 'political' "lynching". Really.' :/


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cnn.com

Only 10 students invited to Trump's speech at historically black college

More than 200 people attended President Donald Trump's speech at Benedict College, but only about 10 actual students were invited to the event -- his first appearance at a historically black college, and an effort to reach out beyond his usual base of support.

Lost In Space

On the 'other' hand, if you are "lost in space" as depicted in this scenario with a limited supply of oxygen, hoping that your extradentary math acumen will save you simply by latching onto a hunk of space rock, then may the stars be with you.
If you are 'there', you will likely know how many minutes or hours of oxygen you have left before you are sucking a vacuum. Already you 'know' that you are lost in space, and wondering why you didn't clip into your 'safety line', and left your GPS unit in your 'other' suit. And, without those snappy space thrusters incorporated into your space 'suit', you are now simply a 'human space rock' on a forever trip into who knows where.
And now, you spy a space rock to your right only meters away, and to your left, Sandra Bullock with a freshly charged "fire extinguisher', equal distance from you as the space rock. So close, yet so far away. You both are zipping through the ill lighted darkness of space at the same speed when you realize that, 'hey, my human mass is less than that rocks mass, therefore its gravitational pull on my lessor mass will eventually pull me towards it until finally we are 'one''. And yet, there's Sandra over there with that potentially life saving extinguisher! But, bad news, her 'mass' of course is even less than your own. You 'could' just wait until your own gravitational mass pulls her to you, or, you could go for the 'rock' instead. This is called 'SQ'. (Space Quandary). You could easily figure out, on your calculator, how long it will take for the rocks gravitational attraction to pull you in, or, for Sandra to come to you, if only your 'calc' wasn't in your back pocket, and you'd paid attention in your physics 101 class.
But, let's just say that you 'know' how much time is left of your oxygen supply, which with every breathe is less and less, and that 'time' is 15 minutes and ticking, down. And lets say you figured, in your head, how long it will take to make contact with the rock, or for Sandra to make contact with 'you', and going to the rock will be the quickest route at 13 minutes, and Sandra at 14.75 minutes. Nothing personal Sandra. So now, you are 'safe' on your very own space rock with minutes to spare. You turn to wave to Sandra, only to discover that she has activated her fire extinguisher which is propelling her at the speed of light towards you and your little space island.
At NASA control room the screen lights up with the vision of a fireball that's called a 'CC' (Cosmic Collision). Someone yells out, 'man, there's a some serious space dust'! A supervisor say's to no one in particular, 'by the way, anyone heard from Fred lately?' ;)


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wired.com

Could an Astronaut Lost in Space Use Gravity to Get Around?

With some basic physics, there are several ways to figure it out in real time.…