"Wickedness", Says Pat

'Yes, I said 'wicked, wicked, wicked'! And I'm not talking about just myself here. There's more "wickedness" out there than me, myself, and I! "We live in a world of wickedness", and the devil is lurking around every corner with atheists tucked in his back pocket just waiting to be hurled at some innocent, god fearing, unsuspecting christian! Oh dear lord in that 10 carat gold plated heaven, I wish I could say it ain't so, but we faithful evangelicals 'know' it is so. I've seen the devil lurking even in my own foil lined closet many times, and just as many times I've cast him out. And I can say this to all those pitiful, grieving moms out there who have carelessly lost a child to our dear lords ultimate wrath, 'prayers'. Moms, did you know that our dear god in heaven has a 'plan'? He does! And you know what? Praise the lord, He has a 'plan' for killing your children. He does! And oh, what a 'plan' it is! You see, there's a great big need for cherubs in heaven. That's because when they graduate from cherub school, they go on to being angels, and those angel fly down to Earth where they are on a scouting mission for god, looking for suitable candidates to be killed and taken up to heaven. "These things happen. We live in a world of wickedness. And God does not necessarily spare us from these things." God has his wiley ways. Remember when he said, 'Vengence is mine..'? Well, there you have it, that explains it all in a nut shell, that's all you need to know, ask no more silly questions. You don't want him to put you on his 'donor' list do you?
Now, to that mom with the 15 year old son that god lovingly smited, stop the whining already, go get yourself another son, and get over it! God took him away from you to prevent him from becoming one of those horrible unbelieving Atheists. And now he's happy in heaven attending angel school. Maybe you'll see him floating around here on Earth someday. Remember to look both ways before you cross those tracks! What a joy that will be for you! That's right! Now would you be able to live with yourself if your son grew up to be one of those god hating atheist creatures? No, you surely wouldn't. I've seen it happen! Not a pretty sight. Wouldn't you rather he be happy being an angel? Sure you would, because you're a good mom, and you love the good lord, don't you. And you 'know' better than to question his reasons don't you? I bet you have some other children you'd like to keep around for a while, don't you. Just let this little insignificant incident be a learning lesson. Now get out there and be a good christian, and a good mom, just like god wants you to be. Praise the lord and pass the plate!'. ;)



See More

Progressive Secular Humanist Examiner

May 13 at 2:11pm ·

Happy Mother's Day!

About this article

Pat Robertson To Grieving Mom: God Killed Son To Prevent Him From Being Atheist

Christian love: Televangelist Pat Robertson tells a grieving mother that God let her teen son die to prevent him from becoming an atheist.

patheos.com

No Cure For 'Stupid'

What a stupid, me, me, me, dolt! Hundreds of U.S. businesses floundering, and thousands of U.S. citizens being laid off, fired, and losing their jobs, businesses moving out of country, and Trump, 'The Incompetent', is sucking up to China's dictator, and trying to save Chinese jobs! This is just another instance of this tunnel visioned man-child operating sans adult supervision! There is simply no cure for 'stupid'! :/ :/


 

About this article

Trump defends intervention to help China telecom company ZTE

President Donald Trump on Monday defended his decision to revisit penalties for Chinese company ZTE Corp for flouting U.S. sanctions on trade with Iran, saying the…

reuters.com

Kimmy says, 'Trust Me'

'Yes, my good 'friends', even my bad ememies, are all welcome to come to my enlightened starving country where you are invited to "watch this month as its tunnels are blown up" with great big bombs, some just short of a 'nuclear' explosion. Yes, it's 'true' that I'm going to actually blow up some useless, empty tunnels that I no longer need, actually, because I have some bigger and better tunnels that are more suited to carry out my rogue nuclear intentions. But hey, who's counting! Big show! Huge! Ka-blueeee! Empty tunnel all gone. Great 'press' coverage! You may wonder where all that cool machinery that I use to produce nuclear energy has gone, well, just keep on wondering suckers, I will never tell, and you'll never find it! Sure, some doubters will no doubt suspect that this is just one big trick so that the world, especially that big mouthed Trump will give me millions of dollars so that I can feed my starving people. I have no doubt that America will fall for my subtle suck-up job, and allow all kinds of American companies to invest in my great country so that we all, especially myself and trump, will make untold millions of American dollars in the process so that I can feed my hungry people. I care so much about my hungry people. If only I personally had enough to feed them properly. Actually I have not heard one complaint from even one of my starving people which tells me that they are not really starving after all. Lies! American media lies! Can't be trusted! Just ask your President! But as you can see from my extreme corpulance, I, myself, have not missed a single meal in my whole pampered life. I promise to submit a full accounting of every penny given, and every penny spent. And if I've learned anything from Mr.Trump, it's how to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Really! It's alot of work being a dictator, and you would not believe the amount of calories that I burn each day just making sure my people are continued to be enslaved! Huge numbers! Just ask your President!
So no, I am not tricking anyone, nor 'fooling anyone', any more than I ever have. As I always say, a fool is always a fool, tricked or not. This is the new me. I have turned a new leaf. I can now be 'trusted'. I trust you, you trust me. Hey, do I look untrustworthy to you? I'm an open book. I was just kidding about all those mean, childish things I've said in the past. I'm no longer the spoiled, brutal dictator I have always been. Now, I'm just one big fat happy little dictator who knows how to play the world to get what I want. As they say, 'build a better mouse trap, and the mice will come running'. Oh, did I mention just how 'trustworthy' I am? I really am!' ;) ;)



See More

About this article

North Korea details plans to dismantle nuclear test site this month

North Korea outlined steps Saturday to dismantle its nuclear testing site -- and confirmed that international journalists, including those from the United States and the…

cnn.com

Rudy, 'The Masterful Mouthpiece'

Oh holy Pope crap! Did I say that? Was that me, Rudy, 'The Masterful Mouthpiece', who mumbled those words that sounded like something I knew what I was talking about, that now turns out to be pure hogwash!? Me, the new guy on the block, already making "You're fired" mistakes? Are you sure it wasn't someone who simply 'looks' like me? Stormy who? Oh yeah,'her'! Ha, ha! That Stormy. Right. That one. Well, now that I've had a moment to reflect on my new guy sins, it seems that I 'may' have blurted some things that may or may not be true in its entirety, either wholly or partially, a little here or a little there. So what I'd like to do is spin the bottle...er..put a new spin, that is, on what I may or may not have said that could very well spell my political doom as we know it. Just so you know, I have personally fired the staffer that gave me the possibly incorrect, or not, information about whatever it was that I was "quoted" about.
 So, here's the real, as I know it, at this moment, and as told to me by my new 'boss', story about this 'Stormy' mess that has now ensnarled even my unsuspecting self. The president does not admit that he 'knows' about whatever money that was allegedly paid to a professional hollywood film star model named Stormy Daniels, or whoever she is. He only recently found out about this mess while watching his 'News To Go To' station Fox News. Up until then he, as usual, as he is with all things, was completely in the dark, out of touch, clueless, and of course it goes without saying, totally guiltless. If he gave any money at all, and I'm not admitting, nor is he, that he even gave any money of any amount, more or less, to Mr. Cohen, 'the traitor' to hush up Miss Lose Lips Daniels in order to keep her from telling the 'truth' as she may or may not know it, about her alleged sexual, if there was any sex at all, not that my client is incapable of such sexual acts, just ask any of his ex-mistresses, liaison with my new boss, Mr. Trump, 'The Virtuous One'. My client, again if he gave any allegded money at all to his former Attorney the traitor, it would have simply been in order to catch up with his 'over due' past attorney fees. I think it's call 'cleaning up the books', if it's called anything at all. But hey, what successful businessman doen't do that? And of course we all 'know' that it's no crime to honor ones outstanding attorney fees.
So you see how easily this 'taken out of context' attorney/client transaction is explained away? Totally 'innocent' transaction. case closed. No need to look any further than this innocent payement of debts owed. And so, that pretty much settles this non-issue once and for all. And I'm fairly certain, well, as certain as I can be at the moment, that I've got my "facts straight", more or less, and that my job here is as just as 'secure' as anyone else's in the White House has ever been, more or less, sorta, kinda, maybe.' ;)



See More

About this article

Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani try to again explain Stormy Daniels payment

Seeking to clear up confusion generated by President Trump and attorney Rudy Giuliani about a $130,000 payment to adult film actress Stormy Daniels, Giuliani…

usatoday.com

Dear Self..

'Dear 'Self', after a very, very, extensive, and need I mention 'thorough', physical, and mental examination (consisting of an extremely ridged 3rd grade mental test), I hereby proclaim that, in my extensive business profession, I have never tested anyone living or not, that is as healthy, considering that you are obese in all places, lethargically challenged, overwhelmed with a fast food 'diet', and drowning in a moral vacuum, as you, yourself, and I most assuredly are. You are the very epitome of a 'healthy' carcass of humanity, bar none. Furthermore, it is my un-biased professional opinion that men 60 years your junior would not measure up to your vigor and sexual drive, a drive that leaves weaker men wanting for more, and 'women of the night' begging for less. More than that, your test results from the brain sapping 3rd grade 'Mental Exam', shows that you scored way, way off the chart, even above and beyond what would be expected of an eight year old child. Incredible numbers! Un-believable! Huge!
This quasi 'medical' report written in my own hand, will convince the whole world of your manly stature, your un-tiring vigor, your mighty 'woman "pussy" grabbing' strength, your capacity to outsmart those of lesser intellect, your ability to conjure up a story and the ability to stick to it even in the overwhelming face of the truth. You, Mr. 'Self' are 'The Man', and women are glad of it. Now, go forth with this self authored 'swagger stick', and flail the hell out of your detractors, and un-believers alike!
Signed, Me, Myself, and I.' ;)



See More

About this article

How Donald Trump Became the Author of His Own “Astonishingly Excellent” Health

One of the longstanding puzzles of the Trump era has been solved.

newyorker.com

Can't Get Anything Done!

'Doggone it! That disgusting traitor Mueller wont leave me the hell alone! What's with that guy!? Doesn't he have anything else to do?? Disgusting "witch hunt"! "There was no Collusion (it is a Hoax) and there is no Obstruction of Justice (that is a setup & trap),". And I'll keep saying that untill they kick my incompetent butt out of the White House! Ya got nothing on me buddyboy, nothing, no video, no audio, no credible wittnesses, and the prostitutes don't count either. That's my 'story' and I'm stickin' to it. "But we'll see what happens". "We'll see".
Anyway, I can't get anything 'Presidential' done around this drabby, shabby White House! I tell you, that guy is interfering with my 'Presidential duties'! If I have to, I'll sue his cheap Manhatten pants right off his cheap traitor butt! 'Interference With The President' is a major crime in my mind. Major! If there's not a law against it, I'll make one! Traitor, leaker of top secret questions! Here I am trying to ruin...er..run, that is, America, save the whole world from other less capable dictators, expand my 'brand', threaten friends and enemies alike, and this guy wants to ask me personal questions about stuff that's none of his business! Nobody cares if I broke some stupid law anyway! I'm way too busy trying to make myself famous and I just don't have time to answer foolish questions about foolish things. What I do on the publics dime is nobodys business but my own! Americans picked me to dictate what happens in America no matter what. Leave me alone Mueller, if you know what's good for you! I'm pretty 'sure' I could fire you if I wanted to, just gotta make sure I've made you look bad enough first, and that my narrow minded base is gonna back me up afterwards. I've got more power than you'll ever dream of having! I'm not afraid of you, you, you skinny bully, you! My daddy could beat up your daddy! I wish I could kick sand in your old man face! I'm innocent! I'm innocent I tell you, innocent! I've hardly done anything 'wrong'. Go away, leave me alone! I'm innocent!!!! Really. Really I am. I'm not kidding around here, really.' ;)


See More

About this article

Donald Trump claims Robert Mueller probe is interfering with his presidential duties

Arguments over the prospect of Donald Trump testimony shadowed by the prospect of a Robert Mueller subpoena.

usatoday.com

'Teflon Don'

'These illegal questions about a non-existent thing is "So disgraceful"! Horrible! Disgusting! And now look, everyone will know what that Mueller guy wants to ask me! Who does this!?? Is that guy really from America? Is he really allowed to ask me, the President of America, questions that are none of his business? I'm he President for crying out loud! I'm above the laws that govern normal people! I'm un-touchable! I'm the new 'Teflon Don'! I make the 'rules of law' that apply to only me! And now, Mr. Disgusting, has illegally "leaked classified information"! What a traitor! That guy should be locked up with his pal Hillary! Un-American leaker! Did you read some of those illegal questions? There's not one mention of the brand of tanning bed I use! Not once did he ask about my top rated made for TV reality show! Not once!! Great numbers folks! I should get an Oscar, not a subpoena! Hey bright boy, here's the questions that I have authorized my herd of top notch lawyers, who by the way, I never listen to, to submit that can be asked of me;

Do you use a brush or a comb in your beautiful hair?
Which do you like most, puppies dogs, or "pussy" cats?
Would you rather "grab a pussy", or "grab" a puppy?
If your "pussy" cat tried to run away, where would you "grab" it first?
How Far can you knock a golf ball?
Have you ever told a lie?
What does "we'll have to see", really mean?
Who gets 'fired' next?
Have you ever thought about 'pardoning' yourself?
Have you ever found the "five million illegals" that voted for Hillary?
What exactly does a "witch" look like?
Are you the best President ever?

So, yeah, those are 'some' of the questions that I will 'allow' disgusting Mueller to ask of me. Of course, I don't really have to answer any of them if I don't want to. I can only be held accountable if I don't tell the 'truth', something of which I have a whole different take on than 'normal' people do. It's just an illegal "witch hunt" folks, nothing to see here, move along, move along.' :/

 

See More

Donald J. Trump on Twitter

“So disgraceful that the questions concerning the Russian Witch Hunt were “leaked” to the media. No questions on Collusion. Oh, I see...you have a made up, phony crime, Collusion, that never existed, and an investigation begun with illegally leaked classified information. Nice!”

twitter.com