BREAKING 'DIPLOMATIC 'NEWS"! BREAKING 'NEWS"! ATTENTION! LOOK OVER HERE!
WE at 'BBSN' (buddyblackssatiricalnews) bring you this special Foreign Diplomatic 'news' alert as only 'BBSN' can.
As always, we keep our 'Idiot Alert Radar' fine tuned and pointed in no particular direction. Occasionally, it keys in on...well.., Idiots, who just can't seem to manage the art of 'filtering' their own particular brain waves even though most often their heads are firmly encased in their own buttocks, a place where you would 'think' would be the safest place For them. And let us assure you, our radar screen bleeps right off the graph when these 'anal' things happen. And so it Has! And wouldn't you know, it occurred right there in the little banana republic of the Philipines, you Know, that tropical paradise where thousands of young American soldiers gave up their very lives saving that Now seemingly thankless country from Japanese Emperialism during the 2nd World War. How little they appreciate, How Soon they forget.
Well, Our worldly globe trotting 'reporter', and Dumpster Diving aficionado, BuddyBlack (BB), was able to garner a face to face chit-cat with the author of the latest 'Brain Wave', none other than the President of that country suffering from long term memory loss, President Rodrigo Duterte (RD). So lets scoot our hineys a little closer to the screen and listen in to this little civil discoure that passed between the two.
BB: Mr.Presidenti' let me be the first to thank you for allowing me to visit you in your snug little dumpster-like office. However, I think we should not linger too long in here as I detect a foul odor which may affect our 'thinking' process.
Do you watch a Lot of Donald Trumps video clips?
RD: Ahhh, welcome to my 'kingdom'. Please help yoursef to our wonderful bananas, perhaps some banana wine, some banana bread, banana pudding? Oh, and When you speak of my flaxen haired BFF, speak softly.
BB: 'Some' people, even in your own circle of head bobbers, liken you To Mr. Trump, although you Do seem to have larger Hands than him. How does that make you feel?
RD: It's a great 'compliment' to be compared to such a great future dictator...er...American President, that is. Great! Wonderful! So yes, it is a wonderful feeling. And yes, my hands Are much larger than his own paltry, sweating hands. You know what they say about men with Large Hands, don't you.. It warms me all over! Even my toes tingle at just the thought of him. Warm toes! He is welcome to share my whole castle with me. Every room has his picture hanging on the walls, especially my 'bedroom'. I wish he would come and see me. Oh what a 'pleasure' it would be comparing our hands, and who knows what Else.
BB: Hmmm...I think you are experiencing a Waking, nocturnal 'brain wave' moment here. Lets get back on track. Have you noticed that you and he tend to 'think' incredibly Stupid things, and Then let your mouths spew your thoughts around like so much mouth confetti?
RD: Look, I'm not the President of this country just to make 'friends'! If I wanted a 'friend' I'd get a dog, or rent a 'girly-boy'! Or buy some lying reporter woman to follow me around all the time. Reporters! I hate reporters! Liars! Scum! Especially Women Reporters! Always trying to make me 'look' bad! Bad! Crazy! I should build a 'wall'. Except that we are pretty much surrounded by Water here. Works pretty good. Well, except fo that little occasion back in the early forties when Japan attempted to 'attack' our country and we single-handedly beat them off.
BB: Are you mad at the U.S. Envoy here? If you were to meet with him would you attempt to 'beat him off', or just ignore him?
RD: Hmmm...U.S.Envoy...hmmm..what's his name again?
BB: You Know Philip Goldberg...That one.
RD: Ohhh...now I remember! Good looking guy! Pretty boy! “As you know, I’m fighting with (US Secretary of State John Kerry’s) ambassador. His gay ambassador, the son of a whore. He pissed me off,”
BB: Would you agree that it's sometimes better to be "pissed off" than to be 'pissed On'?
RD: Hey, that question is not on the list of questions that I allow you to ask!
BB: When you called the US Envoy "gay", and that he is the "son of a whore", do you speak from intimate knowledge of these 'facts' as you state them? Do you personally 'know' the "whore' to which you allude? How many 'whores' do you personally Know? How many "gay" 'friends' do you have? Are you Homophobic? Is it possible that You, Yourself might be the 'father' of Mr. Goldberg, that is if indeed he Is what you claim him to be?
RD: You have asked too Many questions! To Many! Stupid 'reporter'! Ugly! Stupid Americans!
BB: Would you like to call your BFF, Mr. Trump, in order to get some advice as to how to answer tough questions?
RD: Lying reporters! Lies! Get him out of here! This is My 'dumpster', and I ask the questions around here! I'm the King of my 'dumpster'! Filthy liar! Out!
And so ends Another mind boggling 'dumpster' dive into the shallow end of the gene pool where Kings, Tyrants, Despots and Some Presidents, and lately Some Presidential candidates, either learn to 'swim' or simply sink into their own 'brain spew' waiting for the truck to come collect their waste and clog another 'landfield' with toxic sludge.
Join us again on a future Sojourn as our brave-heart 'reporter' BuddyBlack seeks to unravel the tangled, and twisted twine-like brains of those who hear, yet do not listen, speak, yet make no sense, and look, yet see nothing, and we're not talking about Just 'Politicians' here either! ;) ;)
Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte calls US envoy Philip Goldberg 'gay', prompting summons
Updated
Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte has sparked a fresh diplomatic row after calling the US ambassador "gay", in comments that prompted Washington to summon Manila's envoy.
Mr Duterte used a local Tagalog language homophobic slur to express his displeasure with US Ambassador Philip Goldberg in televised comments."As you know, I'm fighting with [US Secretary of State John Kerry's] ambassador. His gay ambassador, the son of a whore. He pissed me off," Mr Duterte said.Mr Duterte surged to power with a landslide victory in May following an incendiary campaign in which he gleefully used foul language to disrespect authority figures, from his local political rivals to the Pope.
He first came into conflict with the US envoy during the campaign, after he said he wanted to rape Australian missionary Jacqueline Hamill, who was sexually assaulted and murdered in a 1989 prison riot in Davao, the city Mr Duterte ran for two decades.
Mr Goldberg and Australia's ambassador Amanda Gorely both strongly criticised the comments.
"[Mr Goldberg] meddled during the elections, giving statements here and there. He was not supposed to do that," Mr Duterte said.The US State Department said the Filipino charge d'affaires Patrick Chuasoto had been summoned to discuss the President's comments.
"We had that conversation," department spokeswoman Elizabeth Trudeau said.
"I think what we were seeking is perhaps a better understanding of why that statement was made," she added.
Philippine foreign affairs spokesman Charles Jose confirmed the meeting but said Manila's envoy had been "invited to the State Department to discuss the entire breadth of Philippines-US relations".
"Philippine-US relations remain strong," he said.
AFP
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