'Kentuckians, now that I have saved your beautiful coal bearing , poverty stricken state from yourselves, it's time for you to pay me back with some good ol' mind numbing votes. "Here's the story," "If you win, they are going to make it like, ho hum. And if you lose, they are going to say Trump suffered the greatest defeat in the history of the world. You can't let that happen to me!" So you see, if I win, you win another four years of my wonderful self. Just look at all I've done to...err..I mean 'for' you.
By the way, how do you like my little 'tariff war' so far? Remember, only the "bad guys" get hurt in a tariff war. Any "bad guys" in the audience? See?? You're all "good guys", and don'tcha just love'em. Oh please, oh please, oh please, I hate losing, don't let that happen to your favorite president! "You can't let that happen to me!" Waaaaa!Waaaaa! You know how I hate to lose. Actually, I never lose. I'm a winner. I always win at every thing. Huge numbers! But hey, that's just me. I know that all of you wish you could be more like myself, but you can't be, there's only one 'me'. But boy, just imagine if there were a whole bunch of 'me', and I'd be in charge of all of them!
So, I'm counting on your total ignorance of politics, your sad lack of morals, your tunnel versioned absence of ethics, and your willingness to be my favorite minions and lemmings. When you're standing in that ballot box to vote for my clone, your backwoods Republican governor, just imagine for one little second that you actually 'are' me, and just do what I'd do. I promise I'll make coal 'king' again. Really. I will even if I have to destroy your very last breathe of clean air, and your last gulp of precious clean water. But that's just me. That's why you'll also vote for me in 2020.'
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By the way, how do you like my little 'tariff war' so far? Remember, only the "bad guys" get hurt in a tariff war. Any "bad guys" in the audience? See?? You're all "good guys", and don'tcha just love'em. Oh please, oh please, oh please, I hate losing, don't let that happen to your favorite president! "You can't let that happen to me!" Waaaaa!Waaaaa! You know how I hate to lose. Actually, I never lose. I'm a winner. I always win at every thing. Huge numbers! But hey, that's just me. I know that all of you wish you could be more like myself, but you can't be, there's only one 'me'. But boy, just imagine if there were a whole bunch of 'me', and I'd be in charge of all of them!
So, I'm counting on your total ignorance of politics, your sad lack of morals, your tunnel versioned absence of ethics, and your willingness to be my favorite minions and lemmings. When you're standing in that ballot box to vote for my clone, your backwoods Republican governor, just imagine for one little second that you actually 'are' me, and just do what I'd do. I promise I'll make coal 'king' again. Really. I will even if I have to destroy your very last breathe of clean air, and your last gulp of precious clean water. But that's just me. That's why you'll also vote for me in 2020.'
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