'My fellow Americans, 'don't hang up, this is not a crank call', I come to you today, not as your 'Incompetent' President, not as your 'Clueless' Commander-In-Chief, not as the failed Leader of your Nation, which I am so busy de-constructing, and not even as a 'normal' human being, which we can all agree is certainly not the case, but as the person we all know that I am, most and foremost, Trump, 'The Useless'.
As everyone 'knows', mainly because I, myself, have proclaimed it to be so, the "media is America's enemy". Only in America is the "fake news media" allowed to say bad things about your highly, self-esteemed President, the very person that you, as paronoid, delusional, Republican 'lemmings', picked to "make America great Again". Remember that? Sure you do. Remember how I 'won' the election with 6 million more popular votes than than that lying Hillary? Remember? What a liar she is! Why can't she be more like me!?
How do my "critics" get away with that!? How?? Disgusting trolls! I will find out who is paying these trolls to badmouth me. My "critics" are obviously being paid by Hillary, and the Democratic Party to continue their "witch hunt", which by the way, they have found absolutely no 'witches' in my administration, none, not a single witch. I don't even have 'brooms' in the Oval Office. So, no 'brooms', no 'witches'. It's that easy. All the 'witches', trolls, and blood suckers work at CNN! Don'tcha just hate being criticized! Well, I do. Hate it! There should be an 'anti-critic' law to protect people like myself. Hardly anything they say turns out to be 'true', except maybe the bad stuff. But they dont have a 'right' to make me look worse than I make myself look. That's 'my' job! I'm good at it! Really, no lie!
Well, they had better watch out, especially when the elections come around, because I'm not gonna take it anymore. They don't realize how very powerful, and un-touchable, I really am when I switch to my real despotic, dictatorlike self.
Remember my 'biker gang' minions that did 'security' at my famous rallys? Remember how I've sucked up with pay raises to my Military 'friends', and the Nations police force, remember my 'white right' friends that marched in my name, remember those guys that tossed protesters at my rallys out on their ears?
Well, get this, "I have the support of the police, the support of the military, the support of Bikers for Trump. I have tough people, but they don't play it tough until they go to a certain point and then it would be very, very bad."
Yeah, see, I have these really "tough people", if you get my meaning here, that will do anything I subtly 'ask' of them. I call them 'sleeper minions'. I don't have to 'tell' them what to do because they can read my mind. I simply 'plant the seed', and the 'idea' grows. That's what a good despotic dictator does. It just goes without 'saying'. That way, I'm outta the 'loop', they do the "very bad" stuff, they take the fall, and I still look good. That's what good minions are for.
Remember, the Constitution was not made for 'me'. I'm way above that. The 'Rule of Law' does not dictate 'me', I dictate 'it'. I make my own rules and laws. They got nothin' on me. No audio, no video, no living witnesses. Can't prove nothin'! I'm whatcha might call, 'Invincible', 'Un-touchable', I'm the 'Don' of America. "You ain't seen nothing yet".'
As everyone 'knows', mainly because I, myself, have proclaimed it to be so, the "media is America's enemy". Only in America is the "fake news media" allowed to say bad things about your highly, self-esteemed President, the very person that you, as paronoid, delusional, Republican 'lemmings', picked to "make America great Again". Remember that? Sure you do. Remember how I 'won' the election with 6 million more popular votes than than that lying Hillary? Remember? What a liar she is! Why can't she be more like me!?
How do my "critics" get away with that!? How?? Disgusting trolls! I will find out who is paying these trolls to badmouth me. My "critics" are obviously being paid by Hillary, and the Democratic Party to continue their "witch hunt", which by the way, they have found absolutely no 'witches' in my administration, none, not a single witch. I don't even have 'brooms' in the Oval Office. So, no 'brooms', no 'witches'. It's that easy. All the 'witches', trolls, and blood suckers work at CNN! Don'tcha just hate being criticized! Well, I do. Hate it! There should be an 'anti-critic' law to protect people like myself. Hardly anything they say turns out to be 'true', except maybe the bad stuff. But they dont have a 'right' to make me look worse than I make myself look. That's 'my' job! I'm good at it! Really, no lie!
Well, they had better watch out, especially when the elections come around, because I'm not gonna take it anymore. They don't realize how very powerful, and un-touchable, I really am when I switch to my real despotic, dictatorlike self.
Remember my 'biker gang' minions that did 'security' at my famous rallys? Remember how I've sucked up with pay raises to my Military 'friends', and the Nations police force, remember my 'white right' friends that marched in my name, remember those guys that tossed protesters at my rallys out on their ears?
Well, get this, "I have the support of the police, the support of the military, the support of Bikers for Trump. I have tough people, but they don't play it tough until they go to a certain point and then it would be very, very bad."
Yeah, see, I have these really "tough people", if you get my meaning here, that will do anything I subtly 'ask' of them. I call them 'sleeper minions'. I don't have to 'tell' them what to do because they can read my mind. I simply 'plant the seed', and the 'idea' grows. That's what a good despotic dictator does. It just goes without 'saying'. That way, I'm outta the 'loop', they do the "very bad" stuff, they take the fall, and I still look good. That's what good minions are for.
Remember, the Constitution was not made for 'me'. I'm way above that. The 'Rule of Law' does not dictate 'me', I dictate 'it'. I make my own rules and laws. They got nothin' on me. No audio, no video, no living witnesses. Can't prove nothin'! I'm whatcha might call, 'Invincible', 'Un-touchable', I'm the 'Don' of America. "You ain't seen nothing yet".'
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