'My reluctant fellow Americans, as you all very well know by now, 'flushing crap' is something that I have become quite the expert at. After turning your Nations Capital into the political cess pool of the world, that you know it as today, I can safely place my self atop my golden 'throne', and claim the revered title of 'crap master extraordinaire'.
Of course, I really have no idea at all about how many times Americans are flushing their toilets. Really. And if I've ever mad...e a 'true' statement, then that one might be the first. But, being the master of bullcrap it is my personal un-educated 'guess' that if all other Americans are like myself, then indeed they too are having to flush their, "toilets 10 times, 15 times," in order to get rid of all that self generated poop which if left unattended, as it has in your Nations Capital, would simply use up, by "flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times", all the available water in North America. Is that what you want? Is it?? Aren't you glad that your 'King' is concerned above all else that just like myself, you are needlessly flushing the end product of your very lives down the tube? Aren't you? Sure you are! Of course you are.
Now as for me, your verbally flatulent 'leader', I require the largest of toilets with the greatest volume of high pressure water to rid myself of all the crap I generate in your White House. And still, I must flush "10 times, 15 times". But as we all know, and as I have 'mentioned' many times to ad nauseum, I can do no wrong, rules do not apply to myself, and so if it takes 10 flushes or 15 flushes, I cannot be personally condemned for being above, and beyond, the rules of the land that my common subjects must adhere to. That's why I'm President, and you're not.
My job as your esteemed 'leader' is to make the lives of the manufacturing community easier to exist and profit no matter the consequence to your environment or your pitifully empty savings account. By making them manufacture things that will obviously save water, which in turn will save you from high water bills, just makes no sense to my huge brain, and if I, myself, have to flush "10 times, 15 times", or even more, then my huge brain tells me that all other Americans are doing the same.
Therefore, as your duly elected, and self anointed 'King' of America, and master of crap, bare none, I implore my 'EPA' (Environmental Pollution Agency) to order America's toilet makers to raise the water pressure, de-regulate the wasting of water, and construct toilets that do the job with a single flush. Remember, 'doo as I say, not as I do-doo'.'
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Of course, I really have no idea at all about how many times Americans are flushing their toilets. Really. And if I've ever mad...e a 'true' statement, then that one might be the first. But, being the master of bullcrap it is my personal un-educated 'guess' that if all other Americans are like myself, then indeed they too are having to flush their, "toilets 10 times, 15 times," in order to get rid of all that self generated poop which if left unattended, as it has in your Nations Capital, would simply use up, by "flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times", all the available water in North America. Is that what you want? Is it?? Aren't you glad that your 'King' is concerned above all else that just like myself, you are needlessly flushing the end product of your very lives down the tube? Aren't you? Sure you are! Of course you are.
Now as for me, your verbally flatulent 'leader', I require the largest of toilets with the greatest volume of high pressure water to rid myself of all the crap I generate in your White House. And still, I must flush "10 times, 15 times". But as we all know, and as I have 'mentioned' many times to ad nauseum, I can do no wrong, rules do not apply to myself, and so if it takes 10 flushes or 15 flushes, I cannot be personally condemned for being above, and beyond, the rules of the land that my common subjects must adhere to. That's why I'm President, and you're not.
My job as your esteemed 'leader' is to make the lives of the manufacturing community easier to exist and profit no matter the consequence to your environment or your pitifully empty savings account. By making them manufacture things that will obviously save water, which in turn will save you from high water bills, just makes no sense to my huge brain, and if I, myself, have to flush "10 times, 15 times", or even more, then my huge brain tells me that all other Americans are doing the same.
Therefore, as your duly elected, and self anointed 'King' of America, and master of crap, bare none, I implore my 'EPA' (Environmental Pollution Agency) to order America's toilet makers to raise the water pressure, de-regulate the wasting of water, and construct toilets that do the job with a single flush. Remember, 'doo as I say, not as I do-doo'.'
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snopes.com
"People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times," the president was reported…
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