BREAKING 'News' BREAKING 'News'!!
Brought to you by 'BBSN' (BuddyBlack's Satirical 'News')
This just in;
It appears that His Royal Higness, Hopeful President Elect, Donald Trump (DT)may have some serious cracks in his 'humanity armor'. Yesterday, he sleenked just about as low as a sleenker can go during a verbal attack on an ABC Reporter by calling him a "Sleaze" after the reporter asked a question that did not land well on Trumps tustled dome.
Well, Our roustabout rogue 'reporter' BuddBlack (BB) was able to gain an audience with the 'Trumpiteer' in order to tunnel a little deeper into the quagmire of Trumps apparent addled brain.
Just scoot your recliners a little closer boys and girls, and lets listen in on what 'transpired' during that historic meeting of the minds:
DB: I'd like to thank you in advance for agreeing to an 'interview' with me Your Highness. Your 'Question and Answer' Aide gave me a list of questions that I'm 'allowed' to ask you, and I must Say, None of them pertain to the issue at hand. For example, question number 3 says, 'What is your favorite animal', number 4 says, 'Do you like to play golf', and On it goes. Now I Know we are BFF's so I 'might' stray off course a bit here, just stop me if it hurts too much.
DT: Yeah, no problem, just remember, when you gamble in My 'house' I call the 'rules'.
DB: Got it. So, what Is your favorite animal?
DT: Oh, that's an easy one, I'm glad you ask me. Nobody Ever asks about my animals. Nobody! I like you BuddyBlack, you 'ask' good questions! My most favorite animal is the Crocodile. They love the taste of those nasty reporters. You know how at the White House they always have that stupid 'Reporter Pool'? Well, surprise, surprise! That 'pool' is gonna be stocked with Hungry Crocs!
DB: Ok, and so, do you like to play golf?
DT: That's a dumb question, I'm not surprised you fell for it. Of Course I do! I'm gonna turn the West Lawn of the White House into a Golf Course, Reporters will Not be invited unless they would like to wade in the 'pool' first.
DB: Swell. Are there any questions that I should Not ask you, you Know, about stuff that riles you up, things that would make you say stupid anti-social things in reply, things that would show the whole World that you are Not Presidential material should you actually 'Answer' them?
DT: Yeah, you bet! Great question Buddy! Don't ask me Any 'personal' questions. Don't do it! Don't go there! For instance, don't ask about my family. Off limits! Don't ask about my personal finances or about my tax returns. No body's business. Maybe I make a lot of money, maybe I don't. Who cares!? Do Not even Attempt to ask me about Any of my companies that have gone bankrupt! Has nothing to do with being President of this pitiful country, which by the way, I'm gonna make great again. Don't ask me about my wonderful Trump University! Nothing 'wrong' with it. Gonna open it back up after I'm elected. Just a bunch of sorry no good whiners who couldn't even make it in a 'Junior level College', and Certainly not in a high class University like Mine. Don't ask about my 'Policy Plans'. You'll find out soon enough. Soon! Gonna do Great things! You ain't seen Nothing Yet! Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! Don't you Dare ask about my Hair doo! My personal hair stylist knows for sure, and he ain't talking, if he knows what's good for him. 'Somebody' asked me if he is a hispanic for crying out loud! I have no idea! I don't check my employees 'green card'. I don't care what South American country they might come from. I Can tell you he's Not a Mexican like that stupid Governor of New Mexico that won't Vote for me! I'd send him packing! Stupid question! Stupid! Don't ask me who my 'running mate' will be, or who will be part of my 'staff', that's nobody's business! Oh, and you better Not ask me about who I donate money to! Even if I Do donate money to worthy causes I like to do it in 'private' because I don't like to draw attention to myself. But That's just Me. I don't like the 'limelight'. I'm a 'private' kinda person. Some stupid people, which I'm not One of, like to be noticed when they do something great, but not Me. I do great stuff all the time. But Do you think I get all the credit I deserve? Never! But you know what, I don't care! Not even a Little! But I Do get a lot of flak from sleeze ball reporters who can't keep their yaps shut! Like that sleazebag ABC reporter that kept asking the same stupid question about the millions of dollars that I donated to those wonderful Vet organizations the other day. A lot of good Voters there! Great guys! Love'em! Go Vets! Man, they'll do Anything for a buck. My Bucks! They love me! Besides, it's no body's stinkin' business who I give My money to. It's My money! Boy, did you see him squirm when I called him out! I bet he'll never ask Me a stupid question again! I bet he turned in his retirement papers last night! Good riddance! They will be 'persona non grada' at the White House when I live there! All 'reporters' will have to register with the FBI, and have background checks done before they will be allowed to work as a 'reporter' Anywhere in America when I'm elected. Oh, and don't ask about that stupid 'wall' that I'm gonna build with Mexico's money. And you sure as Heck better not ask me if I like, respect, and appreciate Women! Everyone who 'really' knows me knows that I love and respect All women, no matter what colour they are or from which country they immigrated from, that is unless they happen to be some stupid Reporter asking me stupid questions. And you know, women love and respect me right back. Always! Love me! And they are gonna vote for me too! Everyone of'em! Love! Anyway, we all 'know' the 'answer' to That one so don't bother asking.
Now, what questions do you have for me Buddy?
BB: Gosh Mr. Trump, I couldn't have ask any better 'questions' of you than you have answered here already, without me even Asking.
And so ends yet Another dumpster dive into the 'mind' of the man who stumps for the Office of the President of The United States of America. A man who cannot be fathomed, nor his 'depth' determined, a man who's mouth is obviously not properly connected to the 'reasoning' center of the gray mass within his orange bouffanted cranium, a man who seems to need no 'friends' because he himself seems sufficient to fill that void for himself, a man not afraid to make enemies even of those whom he might need later on, a man who seems to feed off of conspiracies and does not hesitate to give them nurishment in return, a man who seems to think that the Only way to Make 'friends' is to make them your Enemy First, a man who appears to bolster his moral self worth by sowing seeds of discontent, distrust and discord even among his clueless 'followers' who seem to view him as their 'Returning King'.
Join us again, no doubt in the near future, when our rogue 'reporter' BuddyBlack dons his 'reporter' cloak and shows us the What in Who.
Donald Trump's 'sleaze' attack on reporter hits new level of media animosity
On Tuesday, Trump pointed out ABC News reporter Tom Llamas and called him "a sleaze." Llamas' crime? Asking the presumptive Republican presidential nominee to explain why he had misled people about how much money he'd raised for veterans.
The attack, which came amid one of Trump's familiar diatribes about the "dishonest" media, was the latest in a string of personal insults Trump has made against reporters covering his campaign.
Trump has called Fox News host Megyn Kelly "a bimbo." He dubbed NBC's Katy Tur, "little Katy, third-rate journalist." He has also individually tweaked reporters from the New York Times, Politico, CNN and elsewhere. And at nearly every rally, the brash billionaire reams the press as "dishonest," "disgusting," "slime" and "scum," calling political reporters the worst types of human beings on earth, prompting his crowds of thousands of supporters to turn, without fail, to jeer and sometimes curse at the press.
Trump's objective here is clear, several campaign strategists and political reporters observed: To discredit the people who call attention to his lies, his contradictions, his lack of transparency and the less seemly aspects of his history.
"Why attack media?" asked Michael Barbaro of The New York Times. "So you can keep saying they are 'discredited' when tough stories come out. It's deliberate attempt at inoculation."
Related: Donald Trump under oath: Trump University's promises crumble
Inoculation is a tried and true tactic for Trump: When faced with a fraud trial over Trump University recently, the Republican candidate noted that the U.S. District Court Judge "happens to be, we believe, Mexican" — a not-so-subtle signal to his supporters that the judge was likely biased against Trump because of his controversial remarks about Mexican immigrants.
By railing against the media, Trump also stokes the anti-media fervor of his base (which puts little stock in anything the media says) and deflects attention from his own shortcomings — in this instance, the fact that he did not raise the $6 million for veterans groups until forced to do so by pressure from the media. A day spent talking about Trump's relationship with the media is a day not spent talking about his own controversies.
Related: Donald Trump's energy plan: Regulate less, drill more
"If the collective take away from Trump's [press conference] is that he hates media and the media spends time fretting about this, then he's met his goal for today," tweeted Chuck Todd, the NBC News political director and moderator of "Meet The Press."
The press corps seems to be growing increasingly impatient with Trump's ability to spin every objective inquiry about his campaign into an attack on the "dishonest" media.
At Tuesday's press conference, one exasperated reporter asked if he intended to keep up the anti-media screeds if he became president.
Trump was unequivocal: "I'm going to continue to attack the press," he said.
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