"Ask Buddy', Installment Number 22

Even for a world renowned problem solver such as 'Dear Buddy', the mind has its limits and must be stored in the 'Imponderables' box.

Dear Buddy,

I know you are likely busy as a one-legged goal kicker, no disrespect in case you really are one, but I have a few imponderables for you to hopefully answer so that I can finally get a good night's sleep.

Is the opposite of 'falling down', you know, like 'falling down a rabbit hole', 'falling up', you know like 'falling up' the stairs? I mean Who does That!? If I'm 'discombobulated' about something, but then I get it, does that mean I'm now 'bobulated'? If someone says, "man, that's some scary shit", should we suppose that he has actually Seen some "shit" that Wasn't 'scary'?? I have heard folks say. "Well, he's showed up like a bad penny", are 'penny's' Really that 'bad'? Wait! I have just one more Buddy, If the world isn't really flat, then why don't they make maps round like a beach ball". Thanks in advance Buddy, you are my answer guru! 

'Imponderable' in Grassy Creek, Ga.

Dear Imponderable,

 Your questions describe you well. While I 'ponder' your imponderables perhaps you should find a safe sleep aid, then smack your noggin with a #4 ball peen hammer, use the small rounded end. When you eventually wake up things will look a little different to you. Keep the ball peen close by in the likely event you should 'somehow' think of another imponderable that could keep you from getting your forty winks. Don't worry, I'll call You. Really. Buddy.