'Dear personal, me, me, me diary, why is the whole world so against me? Why, why, why? Everyone I ask tells me that I'm the nicest guy they ever did meet, and if they had a son, they'd want him to be just like me, me, me. I just 'don't get it', really, I 'don't' get it, even when I say 'nice' things about someone, for instance like that immigrant Obama, I get bad press by that disgusting "fake news" media that's always trying to besmirch my holy name. What's with that diary? What? Sometimes I get uncharacteristically angry. That's not like me, me, me at all. When I look in my mirror, mirror on the wall, all I see is a guy who is mild mannered, even headed, great hair by the way, even tempered, truthful to a 'fault', I would never, ever, even think about telling even a little white, or any color for that matter, lie, courteous to everyone, especially to women and other lowly minorities, I actually, or so Sara tells me, have some very close Black friends, WH kitchen staff I believe, great servers by the way, and well, all I see in my magical mirror, is a guy that just wants to be loved, especially by hot women who will let me grab their...well, you know, down 'there'. Man, I love kissing babes right on their hot lips! Women can't refuse me. I'm like magnet, and they're like steel. Hmmm...nothing on Fox News tonight that gets me going. Boring. But they really love me there. Respect. Too early to warm up my tweeter. Thank god for tweeter or no one would even know my name. Got a new attorney. I call him 'Julie'. He calls me 'son'. He's like a second dad. I only tell him what he 'needs' to know. Too much knowledge can be dangerous. He's gonna save me from that lying Mueller. I wish I could deport that guy! I said I would be willing to 'talk' to him, but I had to say that. He scares the gibbies out of me. I'm not really gonna talk to him. He'll make me tell lies, and that's just not like me, me, me. How can I ever tell the truth if people like him are always making me tell lies? He's already made all my close 'friends' tell lies about me. Meanie! He's not nice at all. What a bugger! How can I ever 'pardon' him for picking on me so that we can be friends? Oh, speaking of 'pardons', 'Julie' told me that I can actually 'pardon' myself. Wow! he's like jesus, he can absolve me of all my 'sins', just like that! I always knew that by birth, I am above all others, and that I can't be touched by the 'Laws of The Land'. I answer to no man. I'm what I call, 'un-touchable', but hey, that's just me, me, me. While I'm at it, I think I'll fire a few 'pardon' shots across Mueller's bow and 'pardon' some really disgusting criminals just to show him that I can 'pardon' the worst of'em. If I can pardon them, I sure as hell can pardon someone like myself! Then if that doesn't get his attention, I'll start 'pardoning' some of my friends that he's trying to 'turn' to get evidence against me. They're all big fat liars anyway. My base wont believe them no matter what they say. Republicans, and evangelicals will believe anything I say. Stupid people. I wonder if there's any video's or taped conversations with me in them. Hmmm..think Donald, think! Must keep denying everything! Make it look like they are persecuting me. No video, no recordings, no 'evidence', no crimes. Simple. Must not let them look me in the eye. Poker face. FBI are liars! Can't trust any feds! Un-America traitors, all of'em! I wish 'Julie' would call me, where are you 'Julie'? He's late but I'll 'pardon' him later. I'm scared! Must keep his side of the bed warm, he hates cold toes!' 
