'Ask Buddy' Installment number 20

Dear Buddy,

Hi Buddy! This is 'Friendless In Point Barrow Alaska', I bet you remember me, I wrote to you a while back, remember I told you that I still live with my parents, remember? Well, you gave me your special, friends only phone number, 123-456-7890, and told me to call you anytime and that you would help me with my problem. Since then my thankless parents have become absolutely unbearable to live with and they refuse to move out. They are retired and just lay around the house, also they refuse to get a job to help me buy a new land Rover. I mean, how am I supposed to get to the convenience store!? It's a good two blocks away and my parents told me to take a hike! Not even sure what that Is! I am at my limited wits end! I just get no respect around here!  I need your help Buddy! I have called the 'special number' you gave me so many times now that I can almost remember it by heart, but it just rings, and rings, and rings, and rings but no one answers my calls, ever! I did the special secret code that you gave me but still no answer. You must be very busy helping folks like me to solve their problems. I wish I could be more like you Buddy, always ready to stand up and be counted as a helpful human being! But, How is it that you have time to answer Their calls but not Mine, I just don't get it Buddy. I thought we were friends. I just don't get it.  Waiting for help in Point Barrow, your friendless friend forever.

Dear 'Friendless In Point Barrow',

Ooopps, my error 'Friendless'. Looks like I left an important step when dialing my secret special number, so here it is. I will write it reaaall slowww forrr youuu...This number only works on a 1942 military rotary dial phone, the type used on submarines. Remember those? It was always kept right next to the screen door. See, that's why my number is so special, not to mention 'secret'. Now with that phone, which you can find only at your local Wally World store in the sports section. They will tell you that they no longer have the phone in stock, when in fact they really do, but you must have the special secret password so that they will know that you are 'for real', and not some crackpot off the street or perhaps a lost foreign spy. Now remember this, you must write it on your forehead with a water proof marker so that you don't forget it! The password is; "LAER ROF'. Now say it over and over and over again until you can remember it, but be sure to write it on your forehead so that they can actually see it as you say it out loud to them.  Then, no matter what they tell you, follow their instructions to the T. Good luck Friendless, talk to you 'soon'.