NEWS ALERT! NEWS ALERT! Welllll....Sorta.
Brought to your screen by your favorite 'news' station, 'BBSN', (BuddyBlacksSatiricalNews).
It has come to our prying attention that the self proclaimed 'protector' of paronoid, racist white folks, the KKK, has in the stealth of the night, as they are wont to do, littered a few lawns in the State of Pennsylvania, long a steaming hotbed of nefarious Klan activity, with a flier offering night time tuck-in service to sleepy headed residents there.
It appears that the Klan is Now in the business of relieving the suffering and pain of Insomnia.
Luckily, our ever eager johnny-on-the-spot 'reporter' BuddyBlack (BB) has volunteered to slip on his hip boots, and take a wade in the cess pool of the Klans dumpster office in order to 'interview' the groups supposed 'leader' Joe Mulligan (JM).
Lets pull our sofa's a little closer to our screens, and take a peek, as our 'reporter' attempts to shed light on this otherwise dark, and dismal world of this 'family oriented social club'.
BB: Gosh Joe, it's really nice of you to allow us into your secret little den like this. I'm sure not many people are allowed to get This close to your secretive world of bigotry. So, I have the list of the questions I'm allowed to ask of you. Ahhhh...number 5, Hmmm...why do we need to know the name of your dog? And looking at number 7, why would I ask you, 'What's your favorite color'?
JM: Oh, those are just standard questions that members of our 'social club' like to know about me, you Know, me being their leader and all. But you are right about our 'secretive world' alright. You see, that's why we wear these pointy little hats with eye holes, the better to see you with. We can see You, but You can't see Us. Pretty snappy huh? Plus it imparts a certain amount of 'Yikes' into people of certain 'colour' when they see us strutting about, going 'round in circles sputtering gibberish while we incinerate the holy cross of Jesus Christ.
BB: Hmmm...about That, I see from the manufactures label on your hood and queen size fitted sheet that it's made in China. Doesn't that seem a little ironic seeing as how you're all about the 'white' race and all, or maybe you consider the Chinese to be 'white'?
JM: Ohhhhh....didn't see That one.
BB: Is there a 'test' or some sort of entrance exam for membership in your 'club'?
JM: What are you getting at?
BB: You Know, like a DNA test, Family Tree search, that sort of thing. Have You, yourself, had a DNA test of your Own DNA?
JM: Don't need to! Ain't no 'mixing' blood in My veins, my blood's all white...well, You know, it's actually Red, but it's all 'white'.
BB: But how do you Know that for a fact, it seems like there Could be a Chance that somewhere along the line one of your ancesters, you Know, down there in Dixie on the ol' plantation on an otherwise hot, and boring summers day, might have done a little 'mixing' with the 'hired' help?
JM: That question is Not on the question list.
BB: Well, lets chat about these nocturnal fliers that have appeared on lawns here lately. In it, it mentions, “You can sleep tonight knowing the Klan is awake.” Do you think that residents of Pennsylvania suffer from Insomnia, and how do you propose to Cure them of this ailment?
JM: Look, we don't actually Mean that people can't Sleep, we're just saying that they can sleep Better because the Klan is awake and watching Out for them.
BB: So, your 'family social club' members will be in every neighborhood staying awake All Night Long tucking folks into bed and making sure they get a good nights sleep? What about those who work at night and sleep during the daytime? What's your 'plan' to help Them?
JM: Wellllll......ahhhh.....ahh...
BB: I 'see'. What about Another statement in those clever little nocturnal fliers that reads, “Are there troubles in your neighborhood?” “Contact the Traditionalist American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan today!” I guess if a person is having 'troubles' with slow Mail deliverey they can call the KKK and get it speeded up?
JM: Why No, of course Not! That's a Postal Service problem.
BB: Hmmm....how about Speeders, noisey neighbors, littering, things like That? If someone stole your pick-up truck, who would You call to report it? Would you just call Yourself?
JM: No, no, and No. We deal with 'people' problems, you Know, those 'people' that want to intergrate a peaceful, God fearing White American neighborhood. We know how to fix That 'problem.
BB: Ohhhhh...like littering yards with racist material, torching a Cross here and there, lurking around in the dead of night, hiding underneath 'made in China' sheets, intimidating innocent people, trying to re-set America back to the good ol' boy slave owning days of yor?
JM: I think something 'stinks' here, and we're done here with your stinking questions, I refuse to be tricked all the time! I'm outa here!
BB: Yes, you are Correct aout One thing for sure, 'something' certainly Does 'stink' around here.
And so ends yet Another 'dumpster dive' into the dark, and odiferous mind, and world of things that go Boo in the night. This particular one, a little more 'Boo' than most, but not any less odiferous.
Tune in again in the future at an unknown date and time when our intrepid 'reporter' jumps in with both feet and goes where others fear to tread.
;) ;)
‘You can sleep tonight knowing the Klan is awake.’ Fliers like these are showing up on lawns across the U.S.
A flier found on lawns in Coudersport, Pennsylvania, over the weekend. (Courtesy Jaimi Hajzus)
Jaimi Hajzus woke up Saturday morning to a string of worried texts.
Friends in her hometown of Coudersport, Pa., said someone had gone house to house the previous night and left plastic bags filled with lollipops, rocks and paper fliers on dozens of lawns in the town’s main thoroughfare.
Inside, they found a disturbing message.
“Are there troubles in your neighborhood?” the fliers read. “Contact the Traditionalist American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan today!”
Pennsylvania man finds KKK fliers in neighbors' yards
"The KKK were in the area sometime overnight, distributing pamphlets and rocks and suckers," Joe Leschner said in a Facebook live video he recorded on Sept. 17 from Coudersport, Pa. "They're not wanted here." (Joe Leschner)
"The KKK were in the area sometime overnight, distributing pamphlets and rocks and suckers," Joe Leschner said in a Facebook live video he recorded on Sept. 17 from Coudersport, Pa. "They're not wanted here.""The KKK were in the area sometime overnight, distributing pamphlets and rocks and suckers," Joe Leschner said in a Facebook video. "They're not wanted here." (Joe Leschner)
Printed on the crinkled slips of paper was an image of a hooded Klansman pointing a finger in the style of the iconic Uncle Sam recruitment poster, along with something of a slogan: “You can sleep tonight knowing the Klan is awake.”
Hajzus said she and others believe a new white supremacist cell in the area might be behind the campaign, but they’re struggling to decide what the strange parcels mean for the town of 2,500, and how the community should respond.
“I feel like they’re trying to pick a fight, and I don’t want to bring a gun to a knife fight,” Hajzus told The Washington Post Monday. “It’s hard to know how strongly to approach this.”
Coudersport isn’t alone.
Similar packages have recently turned up in communities around the country — from California to Kansas to New Jersey — many of them in the roughly 15 months since Dylann Roof allegedly gunned down nine African Americans at a church in Charleston, S.C.
Each incident follows a similar pattern, with residents waking up to find small plastic bags on their front lawns containing pro-KKK missives. The bags are often weighed down by rocks and sometimes come with a few candies stuffed inside.
Just a day after residents in Coudersport discovered the bags on their lawns, nearly identical packages showed up at homes in Whittier, Calif., according to the Los Angeles Times.
The flier inside contained a disparaging screed against African Americans and came with a rock and a lollipop, one longtime resident told the paper. It also listed a phone number and a mailing address for the Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, the resident said. A week earlier, 100 residents in Fullerton, Calif., found similar packages at their homes, the LA Times reported.
In July, hundreds of residents in three Indiana counties received fliers — also stuffed into bags with rocks — criticizing immigrants and gays and calling on people to “wake up” and join the United Northern and Southern Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, the Indianapolis Star reported. Similar bags have turned up in Michigan, New Jersey, Kansas, Alabama and elsewhere since 2015.
(Courtesy of Jaimi Hajzus)
Whether it’s all part of a national campaign or individual KKK cells around the country mimicking one another is hard to tell — Klan groups tend to be highly decentralized, and members typically haven’t claimed responsibility for their publicity campaigns. But one state KKK leader told the Daily Beast last year that the Klan has stepped up its recruitment efforts as calls have grown to remove the Confederate flag from public spaces.
“We’re doing this from the East Coast to the West Coast, just to let people know the Klan’s in their community,” Robert Jones, the grand dragon of the North Carolina-based Royal White Knights, said. “Especially with all the stuff that’s in the news — in South Carolina they’re wanting to take the Confederate flag down.”
Police response has generally been muted. Aside from keeping an eye on local KKK activities, police departments tend not to conduct deep investigations because the fliers are protected by the First Amendment.
“There’s nothing we can do about it except be aware about it,” one police officer told the IndyStar in July.
KKK cells proliferated nationwide in 2015, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks extremist activity. The number of Klan groups rose from 72 in 2014 to 190 last year, although part of that may be the result of two larger KKK groups disappearing, SPLC said in its most recent “Year in Hate and Extremism” report. Last year also saw a rise in new and previously disbanded KKK chapters, including the 31-chapter United White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, SPLC said.
In Coudersport, Hajzus said community members are taking matters into their own hands.
Hajzus, 35, said she lives a couple hours away from Coudersport, but travels there regularly to see family. She said the community was already on high alert about hate groups in the area, which was once home to the Aryan Nations leader August Kreis, who is currently serving a 50-year prison sentence for sexually molesting a child.
In August, Hajzus and about 40 residents in the area got together to protest a rally by an apparently new white supremacist group in a neighboring town. So when the pro-KKK fliers showed up on Saturday, she moved quickly, she said.
Hajzus and a local resident, Joe Leschner, started a Facebook group to organize concerned community members and spread the word. Local police told PennLive that 10 to 15 homes were hit, but Hajzus and Leschner said they believed it was several dozen.
Leschner, a store manager in the area, called on people who had received the bags to send them to him so he could ship them back to the KKK chapter listed on the flier.
“It’s really creepy,” Leschner said in a Facebook Live video posted Saturday. “I have no idea what this mess is, but it’s not wanted in our town.”
An 800 number advertised on the flier as a “24-hour Klanline” went straight to a full voice mail box on Monday night.
Hajzus said she doesn’t know who is behind the fliers, but said she has been “taunted” on social media in the past month by members of a National Socialist group in the area. The group has used the European social network VK to promote a “national socialist meeting” in nearby Ulysses, Pa., on Oct. 8, saying “all white patriots welcome.”
Hajzus said she hopes the community will come out against the group’s activities — as well as other hate groups in the area.
“As much as some of us would love to ignore something like this and hope it goes away, the problem is that the same flier has been distributed in other places,” she said. “If this is actually a resurgence of a hateful and violent group, then we need to take a stance.”